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OakStreet (original poster member #41193) posted at 1:58 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
Yesterday was a bad day when my DS (19) and my step-daughter found out about their dad's affair.
It was a LONG day, with discussion with son at 7 am, step-daughter later that morning and telling WH during our first/resumed MC session at 4 pm.
Dealing with ALL those emotions was sad and exhausting.
This morning, my mother called to tell me my brother was dead. Suicide. This is the third of five children she has buried.
My brother is at peace. He has been in pain for a long time. I am just so sad for his two sons, 31 and 19. And for my poor mother.
My son is devastated for his cousin. But he came home and told his dad, "If I hadn't talked to (sister) this evening, who calmed me down, my foot would be in your ass."
Just too much on my plate.....and thanks in advance for your wishes.
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016
CheaterMagnet ( member #33581) posted at 2:01 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
(((((((((((OakStreet))))))))))))))
Sending you and your whole family peace and strength. I really have no words and I cannot fathom your pain. Please lean on us here anytime.
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
Althea ( member #37765) posted at 2:08 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
(((OakStreet)))
I have been at that place of feeling like you are down and out and just being kicked around by life. Just have faith things will get better (they will) and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to find something beautiful each day just to remind yourself that beauty and happiness is still out there.
Taking it one day at a time.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 2:17 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
(((OakStreet)))
I am so, so sorry at the loss of your brother, and everything else that is going on.
Sometimes it seems too much to bear, but you will make it. Baby steps.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
jendo ( member #43059) posted at 2:20 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I"m so sorry. That is a lot...
BW Me (40ish)- now closer to 50
WH Him (40ish)- now closer to 50
Kids ages 10-20- now 18-28
Married 20 years- no2 28 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 2:48 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
((OakStreet and family)) Peace and strength to you and yours.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Thinkingtoomuch ( member #31765) posted at 4:05 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
You're in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry about the loss of your brother.
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 4:15 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
sympathies and (((hugs)))
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 4:25 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
Oh (((Oak Street)))) I am so, so very sorry.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:26 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
OMG OakStreet I'm just so sorry. Exhausting has to be an understatement. 
We are here for you. Sending hugs and strength.
(((OakStreet)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 6:39 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I'm so sorry. That is a lot for anyone. 
momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 6:44 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I am sorry for you loss. Lean on us, we can carry you for awhile until you can get your bearings again. Drink lots of water, and remember to eat something, anything you can keep down. It all takes time, and that is just painful.
BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
Arden ( member #44285) posted at 7:45 AM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I'm so, so sorry. This must seem so overwhelming. Big hugs to you and your family. Take care of yourself. All you need is one step at a time.
Me - BGF 31
Him - WBF 32
Together 8 years
Dday 7/21/13 ("Mostly" EA)
Got TT, but both trying to R
WillThrive ( member #44408) posted at 12:39 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
Hugs and prayers. That is a lot to be facing all at once.
BW
DDay 3-17-2012 EA
TT 3-30-2012 Actually 10 month PA that took 5 more months to end. Perhaps full disclosure 2-2015, right before my mother died on 3/17. What a date.
Married 20+ years
To R or not to R, that is the question
Chefj9 ( member #38604) posted at 12:40 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I lost my youngest brother to suicide when he was just 14. 20+ years later and his passing and the questions about it all are still with me. My heart beaks for your mother. My mom has never been the same and I don't expect her to be. Lots of prayers for you and your family. You are dealing with so much. Try and remember to nurture yourself through all this. Drink lots of water, eat and rest when you can.
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere
JerseyCowgirl ( member #41441) posted at 12:46 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
Oh my gosh..you certainly did not need this added to your burdens. Please take extra good care of yourself right now & know we here are all sending our support & love to you right now.
Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 1:06 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 1:42 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
I'm so sorry for your loss.
OakStreet (original poster member #41193) posted at 1:47 PM on Thursday, August 7th, 2014
Thank you everyone!
Your support means so much.
Things are so complicated - we don't know yet when the service for my brother will be. And we have to get my fragile mother to Florida. She is a strong woman, but jeez, can she catch a break?
My brother was 55. My mother watched her oldest son suffer through pancreatic cancer in 2005 and her middle daughter suffer through vulvar cancer in 2010. Her two surviving daughters are both going through infidelity issues.
But we will get through this! The hugs, thoughts and prayers are appreciated. I also have my very dear friends (40+ years) supporting me.
My brother was a very good man. He raised two sons by himself and was active in volunteering for organizations that dealt with disabilities.
He will be greatly missed.
But he is no longer in pain.
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016
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