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Just Found Out :
Tell Spouse I've Filed for Divorce?

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keptmyword ( member #35526) posted at 9:52 PM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

He told me one thing but his texts said another. I'm so sick of being lied two 10+ times a day. Barf. Who needs this?

No one needs this and no one should EVER have to live through this.

I didn't tell my XWW that I filed for divorce.

After D-day, I offered her a chance of forgiveness and working to put our family back together.

Within days I found her car in the shitbag adultery partner's driveway.

I was not really surprised. I stopped and confronted them - not as a husband, but as a father to tell them that they were putting two little boys through Hell for their selfish bullshit.

They didn't give a flying-fuck. Not even her - their mother.

For the next several months my POS XWW would threaten me with divorce every week when I told her she was a toxic and dysfunctional and needed help. I never told her not to file or responded to her threats in any way.

I never told her that I was going to retain an attorney.

I never told her I filed for divorce.

At this point, I considered the divorce my personal business in which she had no ability to change.

I was divorcing her - Period. She wasn't going to be able to change that FACT.

I knew that ANY attempt at reconciliation would have been futile. I simply can't accept that shit in my life.

I let her find out on her own. She found out at work and started balling. She called me and wanted to talk. I told her no.

I held fast to my values and morals in the WORST of times. My sons needed to have that example.

Tell him, don't tell him. Doesn't matter.

What matters is that you be true to yourself, your values, and what is right.

You will be so incredibly glad you did.

I am.

It has nothing to do with you.

Filed for and proceeded with divorce.

posts: 1230   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2012
id 6904697
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Schadenfreude ( member #43075) posted at 8:54 PM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

This may be late but do not involve your adult daughter. If she is his daughter,,too. You'll be the ex wife somer or later, but she'll never be the ex daughter.

Have you filed? Are there orders entered by the court? If so, don't tell him. He didn't consult you about his decision to have his A,,did he?

posts: 892   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6908547
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 Adrienne (original poster member #44235) posted at 9:13 PM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

Thanks everyone. He hasn't been served yet and I haven't told my daughter or him. Because he is giving the other woman money every week, I didn't want to tip him off and have him do something crazy with his money before he was served. My lawyer advised me to handle it that way.

Me: BW 45
Him: WS 46
DD: 21
Married 18 years, together 22.
DDay: June 18 2014
Divorced: May 2015

Got a divorce... aka, took out the trash! Happiest I've been in years!

posts: 75   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2014
id 6908580
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