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BetrayedNewlywed ( new member #44543) posted at 11:50 PM on Sunday, August 17th, 2014
How long ago was DD?
4.5 weeks
How happy are you?
1 to 3. Strange mix of hope, happiness, fear, anger, sadness and defeat at any given time..
How secure do you feel?
2. Just like someone else said: i think my WH does feel bad, but he really doesn't "get it" yet. He's not completely supportive of my healing process, and quite frankly, it's still being tweaked each day.
LumpyLola ( member #44330) posted at 1:01 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
About a month ago, DD.
Happy - 1
Secure - 1
My story is a little different, though. I didn't even get a chance to vent, ask, or speak to my WH, so I don't even know where I stand. "Shell shocked" is the most accurate way to describe what I'm feeling.
I'm glad to see that many of you scored higher on the numbers than I did.
12yearsloyal ( member #43064) posted at 4:01 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
D Day 5 months ago
Happiness: 3
Security: 2 (both technically unemployed)
Him: WS, 51 EA/PA 2.5 years
D Day 3/10/14 N/C broke (phone/email) 6/14-10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Banana Republic whore
Status: Fence sitting or D Praying for answers
Betrayal: so painful it should be a crime - 12 months in prison.
Time Ticks On ( member #33772) posted at 5:22 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
D day three years ago.
happy-8.5
secure-9
FBW- 50
FWH-51
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 25 years- together 27
What doesn't kill me, scars me.
HurtinginSoCal ( member #41492) posted at 10:13 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
How long ago was DD?
9 months
How happy are you?
This actually varies day to day. Obviously not as happy as I'd like to be. I find myself more concerned about how happy fWH is.... Fear that any unhappiness on his part will lead him down that same road. On average, I would say 4-5.
How secure do you feel?
Sadly, I've never felt so insecure in my life. The person I pledged my everything to, the one I trusted with my heart more than anyone else, betrayed me. I don't know how or if that trust will come back. I do love him. Sometimes I feel like if we say and do it, it'll come true. Other days I do feel those things we shared early on in our relationship and marriage. We talked, early in R, about getting through this and renewing our vows. I've recently decided I can't say I'd want to renew our vows...I believed and trusted in our original vows and it didn't stop him from the EA that was only a matter of time from a PA. What would a vow renewal do? I don't think I could trust that only only wonder how long it would be until he broke those.
DDay - 11/13/13, eve of our oldest daughter's bday
Hatemyhusband (original poster member #41633) posted at 11:53 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
I completely hear you, Hurting.
Security for me, may never come back
Happiness? I can make myself happy but security, good luck
lilylilith ( member #44240) posted at 12:50 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
How long ago was DD?
Less than 2mos
How happy are you?
4
How secure do you feel?
4
Searchingforhope ( member #38437) posted at 5:26 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
How long ago for DD?
2 yrs. 4 months
How happy are you?
7-8 but sometimes I will spiral to about a 2. I usually bounce back from that though, much quicker than I did in the early stages. What helps me bounce back is usually talking to my H and reconnecting. We talk about the A, and he steps up and takes responsibilty and doesn't blameshift. Even though I've heard it all before, I still need to hear it on occassion to pull me out of the dark hole.
How secure do I feel?
I would say I'm at a 9 right now. I believe my H would never cross lines again. I believe he is truly sorry and remorseful.
Me: BW 51 at the time(didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54 at the time(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs at the time
DDAY 04/25/12
Working on R
PA Lasted 2 weeks. OW totally screwed up $@#%.
38years ( member #43864) posted at 11:07 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
D day was 8 months ago.
Happiness: 5-7
Secure: 1...I seem to be waiting on the other shoe to drop.
Married over 40 yrs
Me: 63 yrs old, always faithful
WS: 66 yrs old, 2 ONS 1978, EA (he says) In 2013
DDays: 12/11/13, 12/18/13, 12/27/13 (he's big on TT)
Also discovered he cheated with 2 women while we were engaged, 40 years after the fact.
marionwendy ( member #41303) posted at 1:19 AM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
How long ago was DD? 1 year ago on aug 23
How happy are you? 7
How secure do you feel? 5
BS-52
WS-53
Married-25
Together-25
Children-2
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.
heartslammedshut ( new member #38614) posted at 1:35 AM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
How long ago was DDay? 2 years ago in 4 days
How happy are you? 5. Before this nightmare I would have said 9 or 10
How secure do I feel? 5 Before this nightmare I wold have said 10 hands down. I simply don;t believe a thing that comes out of his mouth now.
hopefullromantic ( member #16652) posted at 6:51 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
Dday nearly 8 years ago
Happiness a 6 or 7
Secure a 9
It's not really a fairy tale 'til the witch is deposed and a few dragons are slain
Reconciled
rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 7:03 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
wow, people are a lot less happy then I thought they'd be... it's very sad. I mean, I get it but years out, it's sad.
99lawdog99 ( member #42615) posted at 7:18 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
DDay 9 months
Happy 5
Secure 2
Me 54
WW 45
Married 25 years, together 27 WW's first and only til A
In R
"Sometimes we have to be knocked down to our lowest point so that we can reach our highest Level"
Merida ( member #42437) posted at 8:13 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
DDay 7mos almost
happy - depends on the day ... avg 4
secure? 1-2
"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."
HurtingandLost ( member #29322) posted at 8:17 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
How long ago was DD?
DD#1 7/2010 + A / OM#2 07/2014 - Present
How happy are you?
I'm not
How secure do you feel?
I don't, I'm divorcing
Amazingyetlost ( member #43745) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
How long ago was DD?
12 weeks
How happy are you?
1 - misery pretty much constant unless I am working; unfortunately can't seem to focus on work
How secure do you feel?
2- I want to believe he means what he is saying, but I absolutely know he is so far from the authenticity zone that a walk to Jupiter would be shorter
ME: 63 BW
HIM: 62 EA & PA, ten months (madboomer)
Married: December 24th, 2013; he started the A in the months before wedding
D/Day: June 3rd 2014 (karma bus ran them over on OW birthday); NC June 4th 2014
Just sad all of the time
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