SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It's been over one year since. Y world hit rock bottom. Some days I wonder if I am normal, average ... Did I cause this. The list of doubts, guilts is endless.

He has been wonderful. With the exception of last Wednesday. I suppose he got tired, exhausted and frustrated with the same topic. I always question his past, his intentions ....

For the first time last week, he sort of lost his temper with me. He said (can't remember his exact words) "I hope your head heels soon", I had just finished telling him that I was not well mentally, I still wanted to talk about his on line texting to aff website. I got no where but to sleep In the guest room and more heart aches.

What this post is about is that I want to hear from everyone your opinion on this topic. He gets up really early, puts jewels on his penis, and has a smoke, then is on the internet. I verify safari, only news, weather etc. nothing more. But I am very suspicious, he goes on "private browser".

Our deal breaker was no more porn. Period. No porn whatsoever. He tells me he does not view those sites any longer. I do not believe him.

So, I have an Ipad, Apple product. It offers the user "private" option. Therefore I cannot verify the browser/history.

I'm stuck! Does not matter what I investigate, I get no where. I love this man, I want to know if he is telling me the truth. Need to gain his trust ...

Wait... What? Jewels on his penis? I must be missing something here. I have no good advice, but if hate the private viewing option in Safari. It kind of terrifies me. I hope you can figure out what's going on soon!

Jewels like rings, that sort of thing. I've never heard of such but he's been doing that for some time. Chains ... On his penis. Small chains that is, not sure what to think of it. A bit kinky.

((((((livebythesea))))))

chains on his junk....hmmmm

If he's dressing up he's likely going to a party. Do you feel you can confront him and say *no private browser*?

ALSO: Thank you so much for raising the "private browser" in Safari! I did not know about that, am about to do a little investigation

If he is putting on c*#k rings first thing in the morning, the purpose of which is pleasure and/or to allow you to maintain an erection for longer, and then going right on the computer with a private browser, I am sorry to say that I would think he is at the very least looking at porn.

Others will have better advice than I will, and I am the worst with tech stuff, but if you guys have talked about how your deal breaker is porn, and you have full transparency, then there should be some kind of keylogger you could install to be able to verify his online history, even if/when he uses the private browser.

Have you ever sat in the room with him, while he is wearing his c*#k rings and browsing the web? If so, does he get annoyed - like he wants you to go?

*Hugs*

The jewels (not really jewels, chains, rings) only in the early morning. While he is having coffee and cigarettes. While I am sleeping ... He always hugest up early, like 2 hours before me ... I just a bit suspicious. Like I said, porn is a deal breaker, and he swears to me he is not viewing those sites. With this safari "private", there is no way to view history.

Nanny cam wherever that computer is should answer your question. Though I don't think you need it.

[This message edited by Pentup at 4:44 PM, August 27th (Wednesday)]

He isn't putting them on for himself. Most likely, he is either taking pics of himself and sending them to an AP, or on a site like AFF....or he is web-camming with someone and showing of his..um...jewels.

Im sorry. But this is not normal. This isn't something men do for themselves..unless Im wrong. Im not a man.

So..I wondering any of our male members will admit to putting jewels on their penises..because they like to make it look pretty...just for themselves?

Put a keylogger on that computer...right away.

((((livebythesea))))

I would have to get up and sneak on him. He is doing something without you. The need to know would trump privacy in your situation. Has he ever used these things with you or is this new?

Have you asked him why he puts the jewels/chains on everyday? Does his explanation hold water?

Private browser, everyday, before you wake up, while wearing chains/jewels on his penis? There are no plausible non-sexual reasons I can think of that explain all of that. That's a lot of smoke, honey.

((((livebythesea))))

While I don't want to be the guy that helps you find the straw that breaks the camels back, you could enable logging on your router so that all web-based traffic would be logged. You wouldn't need to touch the computer at all. I, and I'm sure others, could advise you on that.

and no, I've never adorned my whatnot while having my coffee and reading the morning news. The only reason any male would do anything to their junk in the morning would be for arousal purposes.

So if I'm reading this right... he puts the jewels on in the morning and then takes them off? If he isn't doing something inappropriate, why put them on at all? Just to admire himself? I don't think so.

And I have news for your H, at 7+ YEARS out, we still talk about the A's. It's not the hurtful, triggering type of talks - but often I will hear something on the radio, in a song, something said, something I read here and we talk about it. Just this summer someone made a joke at bfast about infidelity - when we were back in our room, the first thing H did was hug me and say "I hope that joke didn't upset you too much".

The changes being made are life-long changes, not just until he thinks you're *over it*.

He is doing something sexual, at the computer, when he thinks you are asleep. I can't think of anything appropriate that fits this scenario.

This is a bedazzled duck.

I'm so sorry, livebythesea. Nannycam and get your proof, or just know. Cause this is pretty much a slam dunk. He's not dressing his "whatnot" (Thanks, SH) up to look up recipes.

(((lbts)))

Google search

men's gull wing penis chain

Is it something like this or the other examples below it?

How do you know that he is doing that? You said it all non chalant like coffee, newspaper, penis jewels, watch the news. And me and my wh are like WHAT???????

Omg...not sure what to say....

However, about Safari Private browsing on the iPhone....

The screen on Safari is BLACK when in private browsing mode. My WH was using this and I had no clue!

I had him delete all browsers except Safari. Then go into his settings>parental controls>restrictions>enable restrictions. Set a password.

Now, it will prompt a password for anything deemed adult on Safari. I told WH that our son might use the iphone and accidentally pull up a site he shouldn't be on. I gave WH the password for the pages but didn't tell him that the real reason was that with "restrictions" on, Safari doesn't have the "private browsing" option!

Beware of Google Chrome which allows a user to open incognito tabs which will not show in the browser history.

Your next option might be a keylogger.

I googled.

You said it all non chalant like coffee, newspaper, penis jewels, watch the news. And me and my wh are like WHAT???????

Me, too!

He is doing something sexual, at the computer, when he thinks you are asleep. I can't think of anything appropriate that fits this scenario.

Ditto.

He gets up really early, puts jewels on his penis

How do you know he does this (the jewel/chain thing)?

You really have to trust your gut on this. Common sense says that any type of 'genital adornment' is going to be used for *pleasure*, right? So your WH bejewels his whatnot and then goes onto the web, surfing for news of the latest heinous crap that's happening in the world? Yea, THAT'S stimulating.

Sleeping wife + bejeweled penis + private browser = TROUBLE (imo).

I have to wholeheartedly agree with the Nannycam suggestion and SH's suggestion to dig in to the router itself.