SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Bob to have any chance at r you HAVE to let the other man's wife know now!

You are looking weak and passive and that is not attractive.

bob, I posted to your other thread asking if you were told by the other bs. Now I have read this thread in its entirety and have a better understanding of the reasoning behind that post. Bob please go read my reply to that thread. My situation was one were the other bs was told by the OW not to tell and he did not initially out of his fear which was exactly like yours. He feared pushing them together if exposed. Not telling me did the opposite bob and all it did was give them time to plan. OW told her BH that I was a schizophrenic and would kill myself if told and my H painted the Bs as a crazy, abusive, cheater. To top it off the A did not end at all, they just got more clever at hiding it. Once he finally had enough a month later the other BH informed me and the A ended that day. Once exposed the A tends to die. It is only fun and exciting when it is a dirty little secret, A's thrive in the dark so expose it to the light.

Bob we all know it is hard, we have all been in these awful situations that infidelity has put us in. You have to expose this to the OM wife and you must do it without telling your WW first, just do it. Yes, she will be mad that you blew up her fantasy land but it is highly, highly likely that the OM will drop her like a hot potato once his bw knows. He will be so busy trying to put out fires in his marriage to care about your ww. Plus after she knows you will have two sets of eyes and ears on the situation. She needs to know.

Bob I have been here for 3 years now and so many others have been here years and years longer. We see these situations over and over again therefore the advice you are getting is very consistent. You will never nice her, or love her back into the M. You have to end the A by exposing it and stand up for yourself. I really hope you let the advice given to you in these two threads sink in. You need to expose this A to the BW.

Tell the other guys wife, then the affair gets dragged into the real world- you need to read up on the mind warp your wife is currently in, she CANNOT continue as normal with her bit on the side, don't be naive to think just cause she knows you know the affair has stopped, you've probably increased the intensity of it as they panic at discovery.

Again- tell the other guys wife & start taking full control of this situation.

God speed as you tackle head on this ugly stage, strength to you.