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My husband and I are trying to reconcile. How, do I, as the WW heal my PTSD from sharing a bed w another man? From betraying my husband before I even thought I'd ever be involved in an affair when I hid my true feelings from him & thought it best to keep it all bottled up???

I am in counseling & hope to address these issues of my own challenges communicating openly, & my fear of disappointing others. I feel tainted. It feels like I've endured a violation even though at the same time I was so clearly a violator of my husband and our marriage.

On a positive note, I have felt myself loving my husband and our children, and what a God blessed feeling to be able to give of myself in love. I hope for more of this--to be unfettered from the weight of my 6 wk affair and my yrs of not communicating honestly.

I would highly suggest that you find an IC that is experienced with EMDR techniques. That, and Tapping seem to be two of the most effective therapies out there.

agree with Skan. I have PTSD and the IC uses EMDR on me and has taught me tapping to use myself. In terms of dealing with the anger, hypervigilence, easily startled and zoning out and all the other symptoms of PTS, IC will also have techniques to help with those. PTSD is not something that should be dealt with on your own from what I understood from IC because it involves brain processes that need to be altered using techniques such as EMDR...have you been diagnosed? Did the IC not offer any techniques or services? If you're not seeing an IC, I would recommend finding one that deals with PTSD and seeing if they can help you. I know on some occasions they will prescribe ADs as well, however mine felt I could handle my grieving process without.

[This message edited by sunvalley at 12:45 AM, September 30th (Tuesday)]

Welcome felicitybroken.

Solid post. Your self awareness bodes well for your future.

Wife and I BOTH hid parts of ourselves. Our respective childhood experiences paired with societies never ending message of being self-made people warped our idea of how to do relationships too. Add to this just how easily and "pain-free" false intimacies are to find and use and it's NOW easy to see our many choices for what they were.....unhealthy.

Like you we are starting to learn what real love and real intimacy are......and are choosing painful, scary but HEALTHY choices now. That involves being authentic and choosing healthy choices....not just what feels good and the opposite of what our parents did.

First IC therapist specialized in PTSD treatment. I was diagnosed with PTSD-like symptom.....strongest being obsessive thoughts and numbness. Frightening really how I could go to one then the other seemingly instantly.......

Her visualization and breathing techniques worked best for me.....though I was investigating EMDR too.

Be patient with yourself. No, it won't take as long to heal the deep pain within as long as you have carried it....but it will be a painful process. No duh, right? That's why we avoided and coped it away in the first place!😊

You got this.

Keep posting and reaching out.

God is with us all.

Your past need not define you....let your present choices be the better definition of who you are and what your past has taught you. You may not be where you want to be, but thank God you aren't where you were!

[This message edited by blakesteele at 3:37 AM, September 30th (Tuesday)]