SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last week, I had a friend come over to help me with some small, around the house "fix it" jobs. He's an old friend. We really are just friends---I'm not attracted.

He did some much needed repairs for me (repairs to my deck & powerwashing were the big things). I was so thankful for that. I trust him & know he wouldn't try to rip me off. In fact, he didn't even want to accept anything for the work, but I slipped an envelope with cash into his truck with a thank you note for the help.

This is the first time I've felt a little on the helpless side---one thing I really enjoyed about XH was his ability to "fix" things around the house. He could do anything---computer, electrical, carpentry, paint, plumbing, electronics---you name it. I've stayed in the house. Honestly, it's too much house for just 1 person to maintain, but I have. I've had to get used to not having the "built in" Mr. Fix-It.

I liked when my friend was there---it was reminiscient of when XH & I would be working on a project & it made me feel...weird. A little sad, even. We went to the home improvement store to buy decking boards & I enjoyed it, strangely...like we were in the store, buying things together, nurturing the home. Weird. I know. I didn't feel like I wanted something with my friend---it probably could've been any "person", really...it just made me long for a partner in some strange way---to be working on the house together...the way it used to be.

Six years down the road & I'm still thinking like this.

((jennimay))

6 years down the road has nothing to do with it. I think it is totally normal to want to have a partner. You're not missing your X. You're missing companionship. Humans like companionship. Missing a time in your life when you had that makes total sense to me.

You weren't helpless at all. You had something that needed repaired and you got it done. If you hadn't had a friend, you could have found a local handyman or contractor or someone else to do the work.

Who knows maybe its even a sign of healing. If I recall correctly, you've been really set on being solo for a long time.

If I recall correctly, you've been really set on being solo for a long time.

Hi hexed!!!!

Oh man...after I re-read my post & your response, I thought to myself "Man, am I messed up!! Why in the world do I equate needing a little help with being "HELPLESS"! Has my independence hardened me so much?? Ugh...

And I thought, "JenniMay, why in the world would actually having feelings about enjoying human companionship make you feel weird??"

Lordy I still have so much work to do!! These feelings just confuse the mess out of me!

[This message edited by JenniMay at 1:39 PM, May 13th (Wednesday)]

JenniMay I know how you feel. I have a friend helping me with some repairs at my home too, but I think that I am starting to get feelings for him.

He is very nice to me and has always been that way. He was a friend of me & XH for a couple of years. We would all go ride motorcycles together.

this is the first time that I felt anything for someone other than EX.

Is this just fear of being alone? I don't know.

I know I'm not ready for dating or any of that yet.

Lordy I still have so much work to do!! These feelings just confuse the mess out of me!

I have a feeling the only time I'm not going to be all confused about my feelings is when I'm dead

I have a feeling the only time I'm not going to be all confused about my feelings is when I'm dead