SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

received an anonymous gmail mail message to my work account yesterday

it said

"Hey FIRSTNAME, is your wife, FIRSTNAME still seeing other men?"

damn.... i was having a clam day...and that freaked me out.

can't trace user...only that it came from gmail

8 APs for WW.... could be any of them, their spouses, WW eBFF...etc

ugh

why send this to me NOW....8 months after DDay

I don't want to sound mean but why are you still with her ?

I hope I am wrong and have not missed anything.

C

I don't want to sound mean but why are you still with her ?

this is beside the point.

only cowards send anonymous messages. Ignore.

I would tell her about the email, and see how she reacts. On a positive note, it doesn't give anything new. The reason for sending it now is to cause trouble and pee in your Cheerios .As an aside, I found out my WH was still seeing the OW from an anonymous text.

[This message edited by northeasternarea at 12:06 PM, August 13th (Thursday)]

Ignore it. Try to not let it get you down. It was sent just for that purpose, to hurt you. It came from some evil, malicious scumbag who isn't worth the air s/he breathes. I'm sorry you were subjected to such cruelty.

8 APs. That is beyond abusive and intolerable.

Get into IC and start drawing boundaries.

Do you have total transparence with her? As in full access to all her devices, passwords, etc.?

Voice activated recorder in her car and where she talks on phone when you are out of house?

Is she in IC? Sounds like she has sexual addiction.

If you are into this, and get off on her being with other men, that's fine, too, but be honest with yourself. If you get off on being a cuckold, that's a choice you can make, but if not you need to stand up for yourself. She will keep pushing the envelope if you don't stand up to her.

rachelc

I agree its besides the point and your right He should just ignore the message but 8 affair partners. At what point in time do you stop and say no more. It just blows me away what people will go along with. I know I can't push my beliefs and morals on other people but I still find this horrible.

OP,

Your clearly a better person than me for being able to stay.

C

I don't want to sound mean but why are you still with her ?

Not only mean but judgmental too. Nice job

My H had more than 8 AP so don't let this statement make you feel worse than you already do...

My advice, ignore the email and less than kind responses like this one.

My advice, ignore the email and less than kind responses like this one.

Agreed

FYI, wifehad5's FWW had 5 AP's and she's a star FWW on the boards. Don't judge.

Ignore the email. You know what you need to know. Or, if you don't, set up a poly. Nothing good (or reliable) would come from someone sending an email like that.

MandMs

I am sorry I am not trying to come across that way. I just feel sincerely sad to see someone suffer from that kind of a betrayal. I honestly don't see anything wrong with the question but I do understand that he is reconciling with her. I looked for a way to delete my comment. I just have not found that feature yet. I also PM'd a Mod for help on that feature.

C

Could it be possible that she is having another affair?

I'd also like to say you should ignore this. But given the history is there some worry on your part that this is a hint being sent to you by someone who knows something?

Honestly I would probably be in investigative mode after an email like that. There's a chance it's a pissed off OBS or om but I'd worry.

Wow C & Aumanny! Thought we were here for support. No one is "into this". That really hurts.

Gettingintune,

People who hide anonymously online cannot be relied on to tell the truth. Is it possible this email came from one of the AP's? One of my H's AP's, still one year later, continues to create new email accounts to send me nasty grams just to hurt me since I outted her to her husband.

If it was an OBS that's terrible...why torture you with this message? Sorry you had that happen to you - must've been a punch in the gut.

wow.... reading some of these replies.... i had to make sure i was on SI and not on the site associated w Dr Harvey which i refuse to patronize.

i realize, i make it everyones business by posting my business on a public forum, but geez..... its under the Reconciliation heading for a reason...and my story and journey are included in previous posts should anyone feel the need for back story

none of us on this site need to be "should-ed", thats not why we come here

and yes...all those bad thoughts you ask if i have...of course i have them.... I'm traumatized, I'm not stupid

subject change

regarding who the mail message came from....

i do think it was one of the AP or the AP OBS..... i say this because a few months ago, i was agonizing over exposing as many of the men as i could.... 8 men.... 6 i found on Facebook...5 married...and found 4 of their wives on FB

i sent an FB message to one of the OBS.....from my FB which has my name on it...i purposely was not anonymous. I included my name, phone number and gmail address (not work account...but if you goggle my name, my work page is first hit)

all it said was if she is wife of MR Ap...then id like to talk with her about events of the last year or so....

since i was not FB friends w her, or any common, my message went into the FB OTHER inbox.... which most people don't even know they have..in fact, i only found out about the OTHER box after i sent the message... i have no idea if it was read by her, or if her WH found it....

but given the nature of the post, and the account name it was sent from, it really points to AP1

I am so sorry that someone sent that to you. That is pure evil to send a BS.

I think they have affairs until they get caught. If she stopped when the 8 were discovered, that is different than if you caught her 8 different times.

I hope you can do a little investigating and all comes back clear on your wife's part. If it is someone truly trying to warn you, they didn't do it in a very kind way.

Gently, with your wife's history I wouldn't ignore the email. Don't jump to any conclusions but be alert. Trust but verify her actions.

I really hope this isn't the beginning of another dday for you.

Hi. I'm Gettingintune's WW.

And the answer to the anonymous email is:

No. I have been clean and sober since dec. 19, 2014. I have been completely transparent in my activities, whereabouts, emails, texts, etc.

I'm in IC and doing my work, and we are in MC. I have made great changes in myself both in regards to how I could have been a better wife before the affairs (better communication, validation, etc.) and how I am improving myself so nothing like that ever happens ever again. I am 100 percent committed to repairing the damage from the horrible wrongs I did.

Getting caught was what I needed to stop the behavior forever.

gettingintune,

I am so angry on your behalf!!!

Whoever sent that message is a craven coward. A pox on them and their hurtful mind.