SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I agree with manfromlamancha. Stop waffling and get things done already. You will continue to lose until you take action

2 days ago, I got an unsolicited call and series of messages from one of her co-workers who told me the affair was going on and provided photo and email type proof.

Imlost499624

My bet is that people gossip at work and it got back to her that the above happened. She then made up a story that fit what you were told and no more.

For example: If you find a hotel receipt she will tell you that they needed a place to talk.

Put a VAR under her car seat like NOW. Never tell anyone about it. It’s not for court it’s only for your information. If you find out things with the VAR let her think that friends saw them or you had hired a PI.

[This message edited by Graywolf at 8:30 AM, March 21st (Monday)]

There is no way that this was not sexual. You must know that deep down.

My wife won't come fully clean on this and is telling the guy she is doing this with that she can't financially afford to leave me.

Imlost499624

If she had the money she would have left you for him. She would break up her family for him but not have sex with him?

She put out on the table just about everything I had learned from other sources openly without me needing to even ask or say much/ask many questions.

She says the relationship with the other guy is not sexual and they don't have intimate times....she says this is all about emotional stuff.

I never trust something like that, she told you everything and exactly what you had already been told, sounds fishy, sounds like someone told her exactly what they told you.

Your wife is lying and she is not about to tell you anything that you do not catch her at.

No sex, it is only emotional. Use your common sense, when a man and a woman are emotional towards each other, doesn't that always lead to sex.

Why would it not lead to sex, men want sex...now why would this guy not have sex with your wife.

Have there been any times your wife came home late from work with stupid excuses? Can you recall days when your wife went shopping and was gone for a long time and came home with nothing?

Can you recall a time when your wife came home and acted funny, did other things to avoid you or immediately went into the bathroom.

These are all huge hints when looking back.

Problem is, your wife is lying. The bigger problem is she will not stop the affair, you need this affair stopped now.

Have you ever talked to this OM?

Did you set up a VAR in her car?

Do you ever call her or surprise her at work during the lunch hour to find she is not there?

Okay....your wife says it is only emotional and not sexual, look at her and say okay...would you mind taking a polygraph test to put my mind at ease....and see how she reacts.

I am guessing she is going to act defensive as hell with the how dare you accuse her and how dare you ask her that.

She says the relationship with the other guy is not sexual and they don't have intimate times....she says this is all about emotional stuff.

I feel cheating emotionally is still cheating....she admits some level of feelings for the guy but says she really wants me to be more supportive and us to be together.

She basically wants permission to continue the affair.

and if it wasn't a PA (which I doubt) it will be soon.

I believe she told you first possible to deflect and take things deeper underground or by you giving her support for this friendship may not have to go to deep underground sort of a open marriage.

Sorry, I agree with Convert and the others. Your wife has basically just told you to back off, that she has no intention of breaking off her revalationship with this OM, and is telling you that she is calling the shots here.

At this point, your choices are relatively simple . Either you accept it, which I hope you do not, or you file for divorce, which you can stop at any time.

She cheated on you, got a vacation, and started again the day she got back. She does not get to decide anything at this point if you want out of the open marraige she has you in right now.

I hope you reject what she is bull shifting you with.