SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

[This message edited by BrokenSorrow at 11:51 AM, December 1st (Thursday)]

[This message edited by BrokenSorrow at 11:51 AM, December 1st (Thursday)]

[This message edited by BrokenSorrow at 11:52 AM, December 1st (Thursday)]

[This message edited by BrokenSorrow at 11:51 AM, December 1st (Thursday)]

Have you informed the OBS? They have the same right to know what was happening for the last 25 years in their marriage. Inform the OBS and you will kill this EA (if that's all it is now - and I do question that.) The fact that they remained in contact the entire time shows the strong feeling they had for each other.

I believe he is still lying to you and only giving you TT. You should have him write out as detailed a timeline as he can of the entire 25 years of PA & EA. Tell him to take his time and make it as complete as possible. Tell him you are going to take him up on his offer to do the polygraph and one of the questions will be whether he has intentionally excluded pertinent information from the timeline. Follow through with the polygraph and you will very likely get a parking lot confession just before going in for the test.

I will seriously consider what you are saying. I don't want to be naive ever again. I will give him more time with more counseling. I was ready to let it lay were it is now, but your insight Is making me reconsider.

The OW has long since divorced the OBS.I don't know if he ever knew. I entertained the thought of contacting him, but decided there is no point now. If he doesn't know, why inflict more pain on him that he's already suffered by her divorce? He has moved on long ago. I feel it's best to let him live his life. They had no children together so it was a clean break.

Absolutely have him take the polygraph. There is more to this story. Even if you get a parking lot confession, proceed with it. Many times they'll confess something in hopes that you won't continue with the polygraph and discover they are still hiding something.

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[This message edited by BrokenSorrow at 11:49 AM, July 31st (Monday)]

I'm sorry your H was never who he portrayed himself to be. It sounds to me like you might be done with the M, and I can't blame you for feeling that way. I suggest you detach from him using the 180 in the healing library so you can determine if a life apart from him is a better option. It very well may be. Good luck to you!

Oh, Broken

I am so sorry.

BREATHE

It truly isn't about how little you meant to him. It is about how broken he is.

There is nothing you could do or not do that would have altered his free will. He chose to cheat, lie and deceive.

All on him.

I know your heart is broken and I know you feel so incredibly lost and please allow yourself to feel it all. Mourn the loss of the man you thought you married.

He is gone, he is not real.

Then start to fight for you. What you want/need and how you can start to carve your path out of the infidelity shit show your husband forced you into.

Head up. And please know you are not alone.

(((hugs)))

BrokenSorrow, I am so sorry.

I just read through your thread and realized it was a long time ago.

Understand the members here have experience, and cheaters follow the same pattern, lie, deny, minimize, blame, justify, blah, blah, blah.

Right now you need to take care of yourself.

Meet with an attorney asap. Knowledge is power.

Does the other BS know? I highly suggest you inform him.

I am so sorry. I pray you have family/friends who can support you right now.

Post often.

Hugs....

BrokenSorrow, I am so sorry it has turned out so badly. Please follow the advise here, STD check, therapist for you and your children, financial and legal assistance and hopefully a friend in real life who is able to offer support. Let the other betrayed spouse know about the despicable lies that have riddled both marriages and families over the years.

Broken, I feel for you. Just understand that this is all on him. His explanations were garbage. Porn addiction? Give me a break. You know why he said that? Because addiction equals a disease and you can't pick on someone who has a disease. Right? That's the reason he said it. So you could get off his back while he was still jonesing for the OW.

I know how you feel. I'm 10 years removed and I'm still not back to where I should be. People ask me why I'm still so bitter. My response; because destroying my trust is one thing, but destroying my perception on love is another.

Ever single woman after my ex is "guilty" until proven otherwise. Is that fair? No. But that's what happens when your soul mate looks you in the eye and says "No, I did not cheat"

I wish you well. Surround yourself with friends and family.

I remember your original post, and didn't bother to reply, because my gut told me he was very invested in her, and that thete was more to the story. My husband had 2 LTA. It really does crush your soul.

I really have no advice for you, other than to see an attorney. Make a plan, whether it is to stay or go. Write everything down, because I know that I was a scatterbrained mess and couldn't remember anything when I just found out (again). You might want to see your family doctor if you're having anxiety issues.

I am so sorry you are here again.