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redfury (original poster member #58256) posted at 3:07 PM on Monday, May 15th, 2017
I'm not angry anymore. For a year, I've been filled with rage. There was something that set me off to some degree or another, every single day. But last Monday I woke up, and it was just gone. I'm just not mad. And I haven't been at all.
Yesterday he came over. (Yes, we violated the restraining order). He brought me a Mother's Day gift and we talked for about 2 hours. He mostly talked about therapy, and all the work he's been doing. I talked about how busy the kids are. And I felt... nothing. Not only was I not angry at him, I didn't feel that desperation that led to the HB after the first time I kicked him out. It was like talking to a stranger. He hugged me, and I felt nothing.
Not sure if this bodes well for reconciliation, but my personal Mental Health has improved dramatically.
Co-d BW, 40
Divorced
D-days: 4-20-2016 and so many more
Recovery is ongoing, I'm doing better every day
CincyKid ( member #57948) posted at 3:10 PM on Monday, May 15th, 2017
It bodes well for you as a person. Sometimes after an affair the BS takes their love blinders off and realizes they're not in love or even fond of this person they're married to. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. At least now you know you can be strong, healthy, and happy on your own.
Betrayed, life over...
Life goes on...
Met sunshine girl, fell in love...
Reconnected with wonderful DD...
Married sunshine girl, happy as can be!!!
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 8:50 PM on Monday, May 15th, 2017
I'm glad that you're able to have turned that corner. Don't be surprised if anger does show up again, but hopefully, it will be much lessened.
I'd like to ask you to consider that by allowing him to come over and violate the RO, you may end up invalidating it, if you need to have him removed from your presence. Please think about that really hard, before you consider doing it again, ok? I'd hate for you to need it, but find that it became unenforceable because you "voluntarily" lifted it.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
redfury (original poster member #58256) posted at 9:17 PM on Monday, May 15th, 2017
Oh, it's a mandatory RO against me. I won't invalidate it. I'll go to jail.
Co-d BW, 40
Divorced
D-days: 4-20-2016 and so many more
Recovery is ongoing, I'm doing better every day
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 12:03 AM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2017
It sounds like a good thing. Do you think it will last?
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Lost73 ( member #57035) posted at 12:22 AM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2017
Oh I hope this stage you are in last forever......
Just stay focused on YOU!!!!
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