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Sounds absolutely wonderful! Hope you provide updates.. :-)

"You're so much better than I even expected."

Of COURSE you are!!

Very exciting to hear it went well in person. Keep us posted!

I can definitely relate to the anxiety leading up the date (even though I feel like I've been on the bus so long my butt if growing into the seat) but I'm so glad the date went well!

So glad the date went well!!

nice!! Thanks for the update. SO glad it went well!

"You're so much better than I even expected."

Ohhhh this guy is good! Very smooth.

He cast that bait out there, and now he can feel you tugging on his line.....so to speak...

Twisted, I'm on hyper alert for love bombing....do you think that's what he was doing?

We've been in contact since the date, but I woke up yesterday feeling icky and by last night it was a full blown cold, so won't be seeing him again for a few days at least.

Oh how awesome!

That's awesome! You deserve--and I never use that word lightly--a really great guy.

Thanks again friends! What the hell would I do without a crew of people who just GET what this is like navigating life after infidelity.

Twisted, I'm on hyper alert for love bombing....do you think that's what he was doing?

Keep journaling. After infidelity, I think we all have various degrees of PTSD that tends to rear its ugly head in dating/relationships. When you have a feeling in your gut, work through it in your journal or work through it here on SI. I went through a lot of that when I got involved with my SO. He's an amazing guy. But, I've almost broken up with him just because of my own baggage and fears. I've worked through a lot of my issues in my journal, even saw my IC a few times.

Give it some time. Eventually, if he is a love-bomber, you will know. However, he just sounds like a great guy who is into you.

Dry Heat, I'm not sure exactly what love bombing is, I've been off the market for so long I wouldn't know where to start.

Just go slow and shop a little around a little. No hurry.

May be allergies, May always kicks mine in full force.

Give it some time. Eventually, if he is a love-bomber, you will know. However, he just sounds like a great guy who is into you.

Thanks Cornflakegirl. I think so too. He called yesterday to see how I was feeling and when I told him crappy (son gave me his cold), he told me he was sorry and that he thinks I'm 'just lovely'. It was a very sweet thing to call and check in I thought.

BTW, this guy is very into music. On the first date he mentioned seeing Tori Amos on her Cornflake Girl tour. I was laughing in my head because here I was on a NB first date thinking of my friend from SI.

BTW, this guy is very into music. On the first date he mentioned seeing Tori Amos on her Cornflake Girl tour. I was laughing in my head because here I was on a NB first date thinking of my friend from SI.

A guy into Tori Amos!! He sounds like a keeper to me! I saw her 3 times on her Cornflake Girl tour. Love that woman.

He just sounds sweet that he called to see how you were feeling. I think it's worth dipping your toes into the water!

Quick update.

I've spent the last almost two weeks overthinking the crap out of this. We've kept in touch but this past week his communication was not good at all. I don't know how to explain it other than to say I sensed something was 'off' with how he was (was not?) communicating. What was confusing me was that before we met he made a lot of effort to keep in touch regularly and during the date he was responsive and paid attention. And now suddenly his texts were brief and spotty.

I was stuck in that place where I couldn't decide if I needed to just write him off as doing the slow fade, or if I should address it. I am not confrontational by nature, but I much prefer being honest and a bit vulnerable over playing games, so it was a real struggle. I dialogued it with two good friends (one male, one female) and decided I was going to let go of the outcome and let him direct the pace. While I was frustrated that I felt like we had a great rapport and chemistry and now he seemed to be disappearing, I also came to the realization that I'm a freaking catch and if he doesn't think I am, I'm perfectly ok moving on without seeing him again.

So of course the universe got the last laugh. He texted Friday and apologized for not being as communicative, citing work stress and having his kids with him. We talked a bit both Friday and Saturday and he asked me out and we had a lovely second date.

I don't know where it's going or IF it's going anywhere. But I'm at peace with that for now.

Great update ADryHeat!

I would have been doing the same thing you were...obsessing about the level of texting dropping off while feeling anxious about the whole thing.

It's so hard not to! Especially when you meet someone that you have chemistry "online" and in person.

That's awesome you had a great 2nd date. Now that you kind of know his custody schedule a bit, you can see if that syncs with the slower communication times. Then you can relax and enjoy this as it unfolds!

Great update and I'm really glad that you had a nice second date.

When I first started dating my SO, I had a lot of these similar thoughts. I decided to give him a chance, but, I promised myself at the sight of any red (or even pink) flags, I'd bolt.

It's such a delicate balance between being cautious and giving someone a chance.