SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

They met in June 2016 at work. I think the affair started right away.

I caught her November 18 and she left me on my birthday November 24. Since then we lost our home.

She moved in with her mom and I moved in with a friend. She took our 4 year old with her. I don't want to talk about my child.

April 2017 he left his wife. She buried the affair and denied all of it. She does to this day.

To keep me away from it she filed a restraining order on me. She tried to take my child out of my life so her affair partner could raise her.

There's a lot of disbelief. There's a lot more

He sent me nude pictures of her

With the caption.......fuck with the right one next time bitch

He called me a sore loser and told me I lost.

He told me that he comes into people's lives and breaks shot which proves he has emotions.

He told me he didn't give a shot about my feeling and uses women for therapy and that I should grow a beard and get some tattoos.

She gave him information to hurt me.

She aligned with him and split me black. On day she was ok and the next she became a nightmare I didn't know.

Ok........so I'm going into month 8 of dday......I cry every day.

Every day. I am depressed.

I lost my job

I don't have the strength to fight for custody......although the judge that did the restraining order told me to start the procedure. She tried to take her and the judge said no....

Telling me my child is my top priority and that she's all that matters.......I don't want to hear it. I've heard it before.

If I'm not ok I can't even be a good dad.

Her affair shows me that she has NPD.

This isn't the NPD that she has because I'm mad at her and want to put a label on it.

She went full abusive and sociopathic

She enjoyed hurting me and watching it. It was gut wrenching.

I have cptsd for sure. I relive this every day. The abuse from him and her.......

Before this.........I ugh she was capable of any of this. She's like a different person.

She has me in the dark with everything and I don't know why she's hiding all this so much.

I'm hoping the people on here will know how to help me. I don't see the pain ending......

She put herself in a great position and left me basically stuck in every way. She laughed at the whole this. What in the hell is going on.....

Who is she now?

Does this end?

I'm going to leave it at that and see the replies.

Fox,

More info will help members fashion their advice.

Do you have child visitation rights?

Was a restraining order issued? What was the allegation? Is the restraining order to stay away from your child and her mother?

What is your marital status? If you are married have either of you filed for divorce?

Do you have an attorney?

You are staying with a friend. Do you have any other support, other friends and family?

Have you seen a doc about your depression? Have you seen a therapist?

You been treated in a heinous way. Please keep posting. People will help you through this.

We were not married. The relationship was 7 years

In the state of Tennessee.....ifnyou are not married.....you have to petition for paternity and take a DNA test.

I have not done this yet. There are reasons I have not.

I don't have any visitation rights. I can get them. It should not be a problem........despite that a restraining order was issues. He gave it to her but also saw right through her. He could see we needed time apart and he could see I was angry about her destroying our home and that of another. I exposed the affair.

My friend has been supporting in every way.. no rent charging. Told me to stay and heal for as long as I need. My mother also told me to come home to montana. I stayed her to be closer to my daughter.

I have not been to a therapist. My mother is a pastor and wise.

I'm also able to research and reflect.

Even my ex admits that I was a good man in the relationship. Anything

I .....myself thought I did wrong in the relationship.......even stuff she didn't think was wrong.......I have been sorting through.

Anger is the hardest one.

Have I been treated in a heinous way.

I am level headed......

I am logical

I do not exaggerate things

I don't let other people exaggerate things.

Such as the person I'm staying with talking about how she tried to stab me with a knife

I corrected him.......and said no.....she held the knife up and said she would stab me and kill me......she did not try to stab me.......so I do not let things get away.

The answer to ......was I treated in a heinous way.

With no exaggeration.....

Hundreds of stories on affair.......talking to specialists on narcissism.......reading and reading and reading......

I have not found a break up worse than this one.

The triangulation with the other man is the main reason.

I have cptsd for certain......inrelive this every day.

The things that were done to me and said......

I'm not aa weak man of weak mind.......

These things cut deep into me.

For 4 months I would go into a trance state in the trigger of an event. My friend who saw it once explained it to me as part of my brain shutting down as a defense mechanism....

I go numb.....I cannot move, I cannot talk. Sometimes I cannot recognize the is there and I get very scared. A lot of that has subsided when I hit month 6. The spells went from 20 minutes and three times a day to

Sometimes once a day for maybe 2-5 minutes. I still do relive things that were said and done.

There are a lot of them.......and I mean a lot of them.

I must have been a co dependent butnin the relationship I didn't think so.

The break up was a total blindside. She specifically waited till my birthday so as I would remember it.

Is there more.......yes

A lot.....

Like some of the things they said and did.

She .....put a knife in me and gave him the knife to twist....not literally speaking.

I believe her to be NPD with sociopathic tendencies and him to be closer to straight sociopath. Or she is NPD and mirroring his cruelty.

I was ale to keep my car and the contents of our house. She wanted none of it.

She didnthings.......omg........she was never like this before....

Not even close.

Later today I'll post some of the things she did. She knew how and where to hurt me and held nothing back.....nothing.

........

Everyone here can relate to what you are feeling.

We know the feeling of despair.

We know the feeling of fear.

We know the shock and disbelief.

We know the feeling of no longer recognizing the person who betrayed us and our children.

Something that you must absolutely know in your heart, mind, and soul is that her betrayal has nothing to do with you and had nothing to do with your marriage.

Again, what she has done is NOT about YOU or because of you.

You did not cause this.

There is no "thing" or issue in a marriage/relationship that renders an adult, married mother incapable of knowing fundamental right from wrong.

Let your anger come through.

Use your anger - but use it strategically, not violently or any way that is going to be used against you.

Use it for motivation in divorcing this woman and getting your rightful custody with your daughter.

Know this, as difficult as it may be right now, you will be better off in the future without this woman in your life.

My also-adulterous ex-wife also turned into something and someone that I did not recognize.

I've been divorced for over four years and I can't tell you how glad and relieved I am no longer with this woman.

You WILL get to that point as well.

Keep posting, others will chime in and offer excellent advice.

Take care of yourself and keep posting.

You will find great help and advice here.

"YOU ........DONT....MATTER"

"Nothing you ever did matters"

You were a great dad and I regret ruining your relationhsip with our daughter but I don't want you raising her anymore"

I was like........what......the ........f........and I mean......what the f.

Who says that.....what the f is wrong with you.

"I didn't clean and good thing because you made a great little housemaid"

"I got a new management job and was making more money than you. You didn't make enough and that's why I'm leaving you. Youmlost your fatherly rights because you didn't make the type of money I wanted"

"I will take any good memeory if you and make it bad"

"I wish that any memories of you will fade into nothing"

When she got caught and she thought the affair was over she was going to come back to me. We'd spent the day together and I tried to kiss her. It was like she was cheating on him.

"I'm sad because now that it's exposed.....I have to spend the rest of my life with the likes of you" ten minutes later she left to go meet him. He called me and challeneged me to a fight. I turned him down. I feel like he wanted to draw me out. He is very aggressive. I can take care of ,yslef but here is and was no need

We had a good relationship until he came along.

Really good......the was and still is all disbelief

When I told her I would do everything I could to make the money she wanted.....

"To little to late" were over and don't wait for me"

Before the cruelty started......her text messages were more honest and not blaming me.

Don't you think we should put our family back together

"No..........because what if we find someone we want or need more"

From her

"Poow whittle fox.....ohh did he wose his famiwly.....your a beta bitch......

She was starting to sound like him.

He kept calling me a beta bitch.....over and over....bitch this and bitch that and pussy.

How does your dad feel that he raised such a pussy.

The list goes on and on......it's a long list......and it's all like this

6 months worth........she was gaslighting, blameshifting was poetic followed by silent treatment.....to kill my side of the connumincation because I argued in truth. Jesus.....it was terrible,

Projection was there but not as much.......on the mans side it was heavily there.....

She's never talked to me like this before. No one had.....

I would never allow it.

She pulled the knife in front of our kid......then manipulated me into lessening the charges as the da asked me what I wanted to do. She literally used ,y love against me and when it was all done she became worse....

Her cruelty in this break up was terrible.......I've not asked anyone but close friends and some NPD victims....for help.

They have........but the Suicidal thoughts.......theyndont go away.

Yesterday I was working on my old car. I was wishing I had some sleeping pills so I could fire it up and let the garage fill with smoke.

I looked at the cord of a vacuum and was thinking about hanging myslef but I'd rather get my dads 45 and shoot myslef in the head.

I'm a broken man.......who thinks these things. I don't care to say them to anyone. What would they do......when you have no hope you don't care about judgement.

I'm still alive and trying to deal with it. My mom has talked to me about the reprocussions of it and that I will need to see my daughter grow and give her answers as to why.

I haven't even gotten into the parental alienation yet.

I didn't know someone could cry every day for 1 month much less 8

I have had several break ups.......my ex girlfriends.....I reached out to tow them tell me it's not it's not me. I'm not bad in a relationship.

This girl has put me through a hell I can't understand......

Some days are better than others....

If I had a gun here with me I'd be dead......I hold nothing back. I don't care to tell anyone. I guess it's reaching out and letting people know that I'm like this.......I don't want to be but if you come home and find me......just know ahead of time

It's not helped......I stopped telling the people closest to me. I'm not looking for attention. I'm lookmg for

What in the fuck happened to her

What's happened to me.......what is happening to me.

Am I going to get through this? Does it get better?

If you or anyone wants to call me.....I'll talk to anyone. Talking on the phone to some of the narc victims has helped them.....

More than me.....

Talking to me......you would think there was nothing wrong with me. I'm. It hystericall or crazy. I'm really messed up though. That's for damn sure.

It has gotten better. The fog has started to life but it led to being aware more of what has ahooened...

They both just laugh about all of it.

I have not had contact with her......in a month.....the order of protection helped me so much.

When I was paying the court cost I told the girl it was,like I was,paying for a blessing.......she was in the courtroom and understood what was happening.

I'll leave it at that. The story is long.........I want my life back.

I want my family back

But she can never come back......way too much damage.

I have a feeling this. An will hurt her and she will try to come back.......it's hard because I valued family so much.

My identity was wrapped up in them.

Fortunately I had enough good years to have an identity toncome back to and I've been building that up.

Going kayaking tomorrow. ,ynfriend have been there for me so much......more than I ever knew. You know who your friends are when you face something like this.

I don't know what to do.......everything feels like..

I'm just going to stop here...........

As I said......I'll talk to anyone who's been through anything. I've learned so much about all of this and it's helped some in the understating but not the emotions.....

I didn't know emotions could go physical.....pain in my arms and the center of my chest.

What the fuck

Kept my word......

Thank you......

There's is deep rooted causes for her to cheat this way.

It is definitely not about me and she has to know what she s doing is wrong. A couple of times she's sort of admitted that.

She has no empathy.........ok.......so.

In the relationship she told me this. She explained how she empathizes........at the time.......

Well........yeah whatever......so you don't have empathy. That's fine......your different than most.

I didnt know until this how far that went or what it really meant.

She told me she has a compartmentalized mind and how she thinks in files....

I was like.........cool........must be nice.

I had no idea it was part of a narcicist defense meachnism...

Her past easily sets her up for it.

abandoning father who cheated and emotionally abusing mother.

What drew me to her. Not co dependency.

She was fun......she didn't show most of this till the past two years.

I was in a good place in my life.

She told me recently that she adpated to me and she was a shell of a person who was trying to relive her past trauma...

No shit........like why....like.........what

What?

I'm not your dad......I'm not even close.....I'm a good guy....I'm a good dad.

I can't be like your dad. Your not your mom......your nothing,like her.

It's like she has a thermostat.......like she hit 29 and had to shift into this or something....

I'll get over this.....I have to.....I have no choice.....but

Even the best of them can't sort through this.

I know affair people change and split black. Limerence and people can become cruel..

What a mess........

There's a lot to this. My deal is

What now?

What now?

To anyone who answers........

Your answers mean a lot to me........a lot. I'm serious....

Your ex is literally evil. Her boyfriend is literally evil.

You are trying to apply logic to the illogical, empathy to the devil.

You don't want to talk about your child. But you need to talk about your child because she is being raised by two sociopaths. You can't let that happen. Because it will fuck up her life.

And you won't let that happen. Because you aren't a "beta male." You're a guy who was blindsided by evil, who is still processing that evil. And as you begin to focus on the only things that matter--not your ex, not her prison buddy--but your child, then three things will happen. First, you'll take control. And that will feel good. You'll feel like the old you, but stronger. Second, you will watch your ex and her tattoed loser explode. Because narcissistics hate losing, and they are going to lose. Keep the proof of what they say and do and she will lose custody, and then she'll collapse into self rage as will he. And that's going to feel good, too. And--most importantly--you'll save your child's soul. Maybe even her ife. And as the hurt and rage fades and is replaced by your child's love, you'll even get back to peace and light and love.

It is time. And you can do it.

By the way, my xWW and I divorced twice. I received custody, the marital home and child support each time (not that I would ever want to collect it from her because of how close our relationship is). You can do this. We can help.

[This message edited by PlanC at 1:20 AM, July 15th (Saturday)]

Down here "on da bayou" he would be gator bait eventually.

FYI...your EX doesn't get to determine your rights, we have a legal system in place for that.

Let her and her new boy toy play for now while you get a lawyer and go after your parental rights... and that new, great paying job she got, well she just might be paying YOU child support once you get your parental rights and custody straightened out.

You need to do this ASAP so she can't move out of state to keep your child from you.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 1:12 AM, July 15th (Saturday)]

Nah you're focusing on the wrong people.

If this truly was love's greatest dream do you think they would spend so much time trying to break you down?

She probably knows you better than you know yourself and if her plan was to break you down so you don't contest fighting for your child then she's half way there isn't she?

If true then they are both pieces of work, but your life and that of your child is of paramount importance.

Stop the self loathing, stop the pity parties and focus on winning not just for yourself but for your child.

Imagine how much sweeter life will be when you're on your feet, new life, home and a partner you can share your life with. That they will never take away from you.

(No soliciting)

I'm literally dealing with this kind of stuff.

See......the thing is. She wasn't evil.

When she met him.......she was evil

Really really really evil..........

One of the last things she said to me was. We all have bad in us and we can't be good all the time.

She is now literally out to destroy my life. She wasn't me stuck.

She's not going to get it.........

When she went in front of the judge for the restraining order.....

For texting mean stuff.......

And yes......I texted her mean stuff. I called her a married mans side piece of ass. And everything else in the book.

However.......Calling her these things. Defied ,y own core values. It didn't feel right saying stuff like that.

The point is. When she went in there. She was literally expecting him to grant her taking my kid for a year. He saw right through it. He basically turned it into a custody case.

She hasn't just changed with me.......she's changed with my daughter as well. I don't think she's mean to her at all.

She is neglecting her and her mom is raising her while she spends time with him. She doesn't want me to have her and she literally told me once that she wants her out of my life. The judge told her something like 50/50. Ill be working on that next week. We used to take my daughter to the part and the water park and wherever.......now it's nothing.

Everything she said.....she did the opposite. Like.....

"I will never do anything to ruin your and your daughters relationship......

The next day she started alienating..

Ok......

So ....

It's like she's following a narcicist instruction manual. In every way. How can they all be the same.

How does she know how to do silent treatements and blame shifting and do all these things.

When I ask that.......younhave to keep in mind. She'd never done anything like these things. Never........it's like all of a sudden she knew things.

Things I didnt know people did.

I started looking into narcsism and tried to debunk it.

For months........the more she acted and talked. The more I could not write it off. Then when I saw her enjoying it......which was very confusing.....

That's sociopathic........

How does that happen......

How can she be fairly normal andnthen all of a sudden she's this

To the letter nut case........it's not possible. I mean

It has to be possible.......but

I have no idea.

I know I sound hysterical but I'm really not. This is text. I'm very confused......

The more I'm out of it though and not near her the more ok it's getting.

And the guy.........I have no idea what I'm going to do about that. Stay away from both of them.

When the restraining order is up. I'm going to ask for it to be extended or no contact. Do drop offs at the police station

Or move out of state and get my daughter for summers, I don't want that.

She let me have my daughter for 8 hours.

As soon as she dropped her off she went to the police station to get the restraining order.

I was like.....l.what........really?

The police came and got her. She was scared. How could my ex do that to our kid.

We were normal people. We don't have any bad habits....we lived in a nice place.......life was good,

Maybe she got bored.......

I don't know.....

I'm glad to be away from her. I miss her but omg I'm so glad to be away from her. I never want to see her again.....

And

For some reason

It made her really mad that I didn't want to see her. I wanted nothing to do with her. I made it clear. She mentally beat the shit out of me......

I didn't want to see her. I don't know..

........

I'm hoping it all just settles and all of this wears off. Where I'm just ok.......I'm very sad......

My little girl had never seen us fight. Not in 5 years.

It was always I love you and hand holding ......

And then this sick fuck shows up and she's a total nutcase.

M afraid for my daughter. For her mental health. I don't know this guy. His wife told me some stuff about him that was pretty negative and she was failrly diminished.

She told me his grandmother told her not to marry him....

He had her wife's and pregnant in a year. He just left his second marriag at age 32.

I know this........

For a fact......

The more happy I am after all of this........and when she was with me I was happy......

The more she will be mad that she could do all of this and me still be happy.

That's weird to me.........I don't get it..

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:26 PM, July 16th (Sunday)]

So she got a restraining order against you? For what?

I would seek a restraining order against her boyfriend with respect to your daughter. He shouldn't be near her ever.

Why not go for full custody? Or at least 50/50?

Plan c ........your right in every aspect.

Then 201

Your right.......the self loathing is over......what plan c said was part of it. Processing this.

She does know me well. And.......you guys really know this stuff. She is literally trying.......like on purpose........to break me down. He did as well. I blocked him and don't have to talk to her now.

What they have done is dangerous. If I were anyone else they might not have lived through it. It was bad......

I'm definitely not a beta. I think the guy put that into her head. I don't think she expected me to fight all of this as hard as I did.

The thing is.......I don't know what's wrong with her. She doesn't talk about it.

It's like.........seriously.....

She wants me in the dark in case it doesn't work so she can come back to me if I'm right about this guy...

She can't come back.....and that messes me up becsusenthe greatest gift a parent can give a child is two good parents.

Am i relived some ......yeah.

What if we had two kids.. or three. I was going to ask her in march 2017 if she wanted to left in November 2016.

I didnt know anything was wrong.......no clue.. the life she left.....

Her life with him will have to be pretty damn good to outweigh what we had..

The reliving it......working through that by starting tomdo stuff. I still get triggered and feel really down at times.

Ordinary dude.....

Says reconciling.......in your profile.

How?.....

Why?

Maybe she went crazy.

My xWW was supermom until she became mentally ill.

I am pretty sure I figured out how things got to where they are in terms of how her genetics, her background, and our dysfunctional first marriage led her to where she is today.

And now that I know....well, it changes nothing. Because even if I understand the origins that does not bring the old self back.

You are so focused on the why. But in your case why does not matter because it does not change the outcome.

So let why go and focus on how things are now. And then figure out your plan to make life better for you and your child.

By the way, I guarantee you that their mental abuse was intended to crush you for advantages with respect to your child and for mere sport. They are sick people. Get them away from yiur child.

[This message edited by PlanC at 1:51 AM, July 15th (Saturday)]

Stop communicating with her.

Get the lawyer.

Listen to lawyer.

I'm reconciling because my wife came to her senses almost instantly when I confronted her, had she not then I would have pursued divorce.

I am going to sleep now, but wanted to sign off by pointing out: you can't reconcile because it is not in your child's best interest to be raised by a psychopath.

Ordinarily I agree that two parents are best. I have overlooked a lot of trauma to give my kids as close to a two-parent experience as possible.

But your ex sounds like she is, at this point in her life, literally a psychopath or sadist. In your child's case, having you as sole parent may be in her best interest.

You've received great advice, 180, seek full custody, go NC except for kids and financials. I'll add my 2 cents.

First, please see your doctor. You are suffering after enduring severe trauma and abuse. An anti depressant won't make things all better but will make it manageable. Ask for an anti anxiety med. I had Ativan. Only used it during panic attacks and when my brain wouldn't let my body sleep. There's no yummy feeling with it so it's not likely to be abused. It just stops allowing your body to react physically to your thoughts and emotions.

Secondly, Google grey rock technique. That's what you want to be when in discussion with your ex about kids and finances. You become a grey rock. Look it up.

Keep posting and reading Fox. It doesn't really matter who your ex used to be - you gotta deal with the shit you got now. I suspect OM's wife that he left for yours - is realizing how good she got it now. Your wife will soon see her consequences (she won herself a real prize there - but you must focus on you and your mental health so you can successfully pursue custody.

Sjengot the restraining order from the text message harassment.

I did do this. I was sending ninety texts a day. At first it was telling her how good we had it. Finally

The abuse kept ramming up. The words cut like a knife and I went into fight mode. I said stuff.

It's was .......basically a perfect version of crazy making.

Using my daughter to donit and my love for her.

Saying things than hanging up.....

Just whatever. When she found something that made me mad......she would use it......and use it.

When she pulled the knife she manipulated that situation.

She couldn't say anything bad as far as cursing at me. It was

Like.......the best and poetic passive aggressiveness I've ever seen.

It worked.......when I fought back. I fought by calling her a total bitch or a whore.......a slut and told her karma would get her and she deserved whatever she got.

Once I started.......I didn't. Know how to stop.

Once the rage came on I could not tame it. I've never felt like that or acted like that before. Not even close.

I would tell my friend........I have all this anger and rage. I don't know where to put it.

I don't know how to calm it. Sleep made a huge difference. I woke up better. Sleep was the only way...

I've started being mindful of emotions.......never had to before.

I'm trying to disconnect and not let anything affect me. I never have had anger problems. Never had to learn how to deal with it.

In a way I've been mad about the fact that I have to deal with all this fall out.

I have to self improve in every way. While she does nothing except.......well......

I don't know what she does.

The restraining order was put on for the very reason you said.

She knew I was going to start fighting her for custody and in the parentingplan.....

I told her he was to be nowhere near my daughter.

When I told her this. She was planning on moving in with him. She still is. She couldn't have me messing with that.

She got more harsh every time I questioned my daughter around thisnguy.

I said.....imdomtnwantnher seeing him......she wouldn't let me see her.

Then It was......my daughter told me he's been talking to her...

She cut communication with my daughter....

Then it was......his marriage is over and he's not to be around her and I will fight in court that he not.....

She put thenorder of protection on me.....

In the custody hearing with the judge I'm going to work on her not seeing him. It might work but my ex will do it anyway.

She told ,y little girl.......daddy has his own life now.....I don't know what she tells her now.

He sent me a picture of his kid.....

And said.....this is my kid in the back of my truck. You don't have your kid and your kid doesn't cry for you. She cries because they make her see you......

How much bs is in that statement......all of it. My kid loves me a lot. It's shows who he is.....

Since he left his wife or she left him....I don't know.....he gets his own kid part time.....he might prefer it.

You let a man come into your life and kick in your shot and take your woman because your a beta male bitch

Then sent me nude pictures of her

With the caption......

Fuck with the right one next time.....bitch

It's gut wrenching to even type it........the pictures....bad news....the caption.....cut deep.

I'm getting better......the suicidal thoughts will fade but I am still reliving this.

Sometimes it's pure panic and sometimes it's fine and I'm totally ok.......like a roller coaster.

Being mindful of emotions to gauge my thoughts has helped.

I know narcissism, and cluster be very well from applied to theoretical........learned a lot about myslef and others.

I will not get into a relationship....good or not with a woman who has a parental abuse past. They are just risky.....

I'm not a fixer.......

I found a way to love her.......

Don't get me wrong.....our relationship was good but the cheating had been part of the past.

Two years in there was back to back.....September October

She knew I was going to leave her because of it. She stopped taking birth control.,....

I saw this and confronted.....she was a pathological liar back then. Thenlies were few and far between though because she wasn't doing crazy stuff.

Either way.......she trapped me in pregnancy and I stepped up. I was not happy about it.......but gave it a shot....

Was off center for years but never let her know. I wanted our baby to have a good life and she did......

My ex seemed to be fine......I figured she was over all the cheating stuff because what mommwould donthat to a child.

It's only after this mess and through serious research I know about affairs and cheating....

But I'm still in a fog. I still don't know how they play out.

The more I go the less I care about her.

I very very much loved her and still do but I can't let that get in the way of what she's done.

As my little girl breaks my heart asking us to get back together...shes never seen us fight...

We very rarely did.

When we were together and she had just met him.....he said he and his wife treat eachother like shit......

Ok.......so......I don't know them.....

Later she said the same thing about us.

I was like......huh.......no........we don't.......we never really have..

Who the hell os this guy?

What is so important about some asshole to break our family over him and become addicted to some dude on his second marriage out of cheating

Who lies and breaks his family......my ex said his wife was diminished when she met her...

Some guy who is cruel and can say the stuff he said..

When my ex saw the screen shots that this guy told me he used women for therapy......she hung up on me

Wha is so important about one man to break up the lives of kids and partners and build a relationship on top of the pain of others....

Pain thatnyou are to cowardly to face....

I

Don't

Get

It.

I just don't get it.

I'm never going to get it.

Ya know........I've been approached by women who wanted have a relationship.........theynwere shit down quick. It's upmto us to have those boundaries.l.

Otnwas up to her to keep evil out of our life and protect our child.

She not only fuckkng invited him in......she betrayed me and my daughter for him....

What........what is so important about some sociopathic new Dick to do this over...

I sent her texts like that......I told her I was ashamed that I'd wasted so many years with her and had a child with her.

I told her I should have left her five years ago and what she done we will never recover from....

I told her I won't forgive her....

She asked that we be friends......I told her no way.

I'm going to get custody of my daughter......my ex left me in bad shape but it doesn't matter.

I don't want to talk about my daughter because anytime I do.....the focus goes onto her and fighting.

I needed the focus on the advice I needed.....personally.....

To heal......the steps I needed to be ok.....the worded I needed to hear.

It sounds selfish.......and it is meant to, I do need those things.

I'm useless to my daughter if I'm not ok.

If I'm emotionally messed up, I lose.

She's already used it against me over and over.......can't have that happen and I'll be honest with myslef.

I'm not ready to go back and fight her and not be mad. I'm learning.,,....but I'm not there. I'm not indifferent to her attacks yet.

She uses that. Every time and

She is totally fine.....

She makes me angry and then says......look.....see how angry he is.

The more tired I get the worse it is. She waits sometimes to do it at night.

I've got to get right and fast.......I can't waithnuears and be like this......

The abuse was harsh......for tomlet it go.......working on it

[This message edited by Fox2 at 2:57 AM, July 15th (Saturday)]