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Allmyfault1 (original poster member #59106) posted at 2:34 PM on Friday, August 4th, 2017
I wish I could just lay in bed all day. But the truth is that is not an option. I work, I the money I make pays the majority of the bills in my house. If I dont get my lazy ass out of bed everyday and drag myself into work then bills don't get paid, we don't eat, in short I make my family suffer more that I already have.
I have put them through enough shit over the last (almost) year. The least I can do is suck up my pity party and do something to benefit them for a change. If it were just me (without the kids) this outcome would have been way different a long time ago.
No one ever gets tired of loving. They just get tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry, and hurting.
unbeautiful ( new member #59906) posted at 3:21 PM on Friday, August 4th, 2017
Perseverabo, I guess I equate loss of joy with not caring about anything, although I must still care about something cause I'm still here, still trying. Allmyfault, I'm glad you are going to work. I don't go to work, but I do drag my ass out of bed to take care of my bare minimum of responsibilities. I know, for some, depression can be more incapacitating and I was afraid I was on that road so I dove into intensive professional help, partly because, like you, I don't want to let my family down more than I already have. But that still doesn't make me feel less depressed. And I still dont know how to bring meaning back into my life.
Me: WW 35
Him: BH 47
M: 2009
3 kids
Dday: 4/2017 but lived with AP until 7/2017, NC since 7/29
Root ( member #58596) posted at 8:48 PM on Monday, August 7th, 2017
I fell into a deep black hole after d-day. Full on clinical diagnosed depression. I'm on meds now and my mood is better plus I have energy. The depression still lingers at times but I can fight it better now.
Get busy living or get busy dying.
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