SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been married for as long as you. I also have adult children that turned out well and I enjoy my family life. So I very much understand why you don’t want to rock the boat.

You have been assaulted. It has taken both a physical and mental toll. You need time to recover. Just eating and sleeping can be a chore.

It sounds as if you put other people first. Take care of yourself and put yourself first for a bit.

Your actions have shown you to be a caring stable person. Your wife has enjoyed the benefit of that for 34 years. She’s like a fish that doesn’t know that it lives in water. You are her water.

Just heal your wounds for now. Come back here when you’re stronger.

[This message edited by Michigan at 9:47 AM, September 7th (Thursday)]

1Faith-

Thank you for your comments. I have been praying non-stop and listening for his guidance. Forgiveness is hard but it is what God instructs us to do. My pain is deep and only he can heal me but he has showed me that the pain would not end with separation or divorce so we are hanging on and are trying to reconcile.

You do realize that adultery is one of the reasons that the Bible says it's OK to divorce over?

Keep praying. God's on your side.

Talk to your pastor as well. They can have astute insight that could help.

Praying for you, your wife and your marriage.

Good luck.

Did she write a timeline of her A?

Has she had any consequence?

Has she informed the kids of her A?

How do you know that this is the only one?

if you want to stop her future affairs, she needs some reminder of the cost.

So expose the A to the family.

She opened your marriage.

she did not inform you. So now do you get to have an affair?

Would that even bother her?

She does not love you or respect you like you think.

She is not the woman you thought you married.

She is not doing anything to help you heal.

has she stopped all contact with her lover?

She has wonderful memories of her affair with her lover.

How many times does she think about him when she has relations with you?