SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough?

I feel like this should be a no-brainer. Where are your loyalties?

Your son needs to know what kind of woman he is engaged to. His health is at stake. There is no telling what kind of men she is sleeping with and what kind of diseases they may pass along. Your first and only priority should be your son.

Of course you should tell him.

I am so sorry you and your son are in this predicament.

Of course you have to tell him, the tricky part is just how to do so.

Be prepared for some anger thrown your way. Hopefully, that will fade as he realizes you're motivated by love.

I wish you great strength and send you well wishes.

Can you pass along to him the stuff that convinced you ... sort of, 'Someone sent me this, and I checked. Your GF begged me to stay silent, but you're my son.'

I've had this information for about 10 month's now.

You have sat there watching and knowing that your son is getting ganged up on and deceived by his gf AND his BFF? For 10 mo!!!! Good grief! That's like you giving them ropes and knives to stab him.

How in the world did the gf convince you this was ok? Your son has every right to be mad at you. He is going to think about all the stuff that's happened and realize that you could've saved him a long time ago.

As a parent, I think you have treated your son horribly. I would tell him immediately, like within the hour. Then beg him to forgive you for keeping this awful secret.

Interesting. Not to long ago, a man posted on jfo that his girlfriend had been cheating with his best friend,for five years,and his mom and sister knew. I'm not sure if he confronted them, but he was terribly hurt and betrayed.

I don't know if it was your son. Regardless,yes,of course you tell him. Why on Earth wouldn't you? Your loyalty should be with your son. How could you know this.... For ten MONTHS..and not tell him?? You love him? You have to know the best friend is sleeping around,not just with your son's girlfriend, and you know the girlfriend is a girl with zero morals, so she's probably having sex with other men as well. Your son's health, his life is at risk. He's constantly exposed to STDs. Why wouldn't you want to protect him?

Tell him right now. Today. And apologize for your betrayal. Because, mom, your silence is a betrayal, make no mistake.

If I was your son, I'd never talk to you again.

Ah, yeah...you should have told him as soon as she confessed.

Going forward, I would use the term "mom" very carefully describing yourself...you have not acted in any way as a loving or concerned parent.

If he includes you in his life ever again you should consider yourself extremely lucky to be offered that gift.

How could any mother not have any idea what to do in this situation?

And, you've known this and kept her secret, while she continues to cheat on your son, for ten months?

Call your son right this minute and tell him the truth.

Then you can beg for forgiveness . Maybe, if your lucky, he will grant that in about ten years.

[This message edited by Greeneyesbluezy at 5:12 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

This is sickening! Your son is about to have his world ripped apart. How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you did nothing to help?

Make a change in yourself and tell him immediately. Maybe he'll be able to forgive you!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR OPINIONS

This evidence has been in my possesion for over 10 months now and I haven't told until this point and I have made up my mind not to tell. If these things come out and I am asked I will give what I know, but will not be the one who brings it out. The only reason I have thought of telling is because people have said that he "deserves to know". I think he is better off not knowing, will save him a lot of hurt now. I truly believe that in the end people's true colors will show through.

There are so many betrayals on this site.

This is actually the worse I have ever read.

You are a bad person and you have no moral compass.

Textbook expample of a coniving betrayer, that deserves to lose the relationship with her child...and you will in due time.

Once he learns of his GF's betrayal, she will reveal yours, and you are doomed...but you don't care because you are a coward.

You are a horrible parent. When your son finds out that you knew and did not tell him, he's going to be devastated.

" It will save him a lot of hurt now"????

So...you don't want him to hurt now, but if he finds out 6 months a year down the road it will be ok to hurt then??

As a mother we don't want to see our kids hurt, but some things have to be said.

Are you withholding it from him to make you feel better??

He's going to hurt even more when he finds out his own mother knew about it and didn't tell him.

Why would you want him to continue to be used like That?

I honestly don't know how you can be around "his" girlfriend and friend.

What if something were to happen to your son? Say he got sick, accident whatever, I hope it doesn't happen, but you never know, he deserves to be treated better you can't let this continue, he could be missing out on someone else who would treat him a whole lot better.

At least put evidence out there where he can put two and two together and figure out what's going on.

BTW, my daughter was cheated on, she now has herpes and HPV, dealing with abnormal paps because of hpv.

You know what's even a scarier thought? The silent Hepatitis and HIV. What if she isn't just screwing around with the one guy, maybe theres others.

Mother of the year award - sheesh