SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Crushed

Given that your wife has only been concerned about herself and not you or your marriages for 16 of the 17 you have been married, she understands that.

Take care of you.

I'm so very sorry you are here. You are not alone. There are various betrayals here that span different times. Believe it or not I have seen similar on here. It is just horrible and traumatizing. I also M a serial cheater even though our story is different. It is an absolute heart shattering trauma.

It is just not something you can be prepared for.

This journey can be so tough. I felt I was going to just die if I didn't get help. I'm glad you are seeking IC. Could they move it up by chance if you called them and told them it was dire? Also, I found myself calling prayer lines for support and friends that knew. I even went to a catholic chapel that was open late and some nice people prayed with me there. I'm not even catholic. I was devastate quite frankly. My point is to seek out help however you need. My kids were the driving force that kept me going.

I'm so sorry crushed. I won't weigh in on wether it will be D or R. I'm no one to say what is or is not possible. That is for the Lord. I can't believe I have lived through my story but here I am making it. Right now take care of yourself. Take it one day at a time. You have so much to process. You don't have to make any decisions yet. You have a future. There is hope in your darkness. It does get better. You matter to those kids.

[This message edited by Jesusismyanchor at 10:29 PM, January 17th (Wednesday)]

Crushed,

Welcome to the club that no one wants to join.

I think you've received great advice thus far.

I'd like to add you should be really focusing on going NC with your WW. Read about the 180 in the Healing Library in the yellow box at the upper left of this page.

No more consoling her. That would be rewarding her for atrocious behavior. And it inhibits your ability to emotionally detach. Don't open yourself up to her either. You're only giving her an insight as to where you are emotionally and she may use that to further manipulate you. Hell, her tears are more than likely another way to manipulate you, to get sympathy from you so as to avoid consequences for her choices.

I think you're doing great getting your ducks in a row by contacting an attorney and informing your children. It seems like you know what you want. Being married to a serial cheater is not one of them..

Someone here told me this recently. "She threw you out like yesterday's trash and she's not allowed to use anything of yours ever again. Not your time, your money, your energy, your good nature, nothing."

Repeat that to yourself ad infinitum. Your life will only get better once she's no longer a part of it.

Sending you strength, bro.

How are you doing, Crushed?