Hi Brady. I've been reading your thread.
You keep asking why she is doing this to you. Stop focusing on how she sees you and work on how you see yourself. Make improvements where you see fit (like everybody on earth has to do if they're smart enough to realize it) and along the way, choose to always have enough respect for yourself to the point where you're able to see sufficient quality within. Otherwise, how you validate yourself - or fail to do so - will always depend on what someone inclined to nymphomania is up to.
And never compare yourself to low-lives who literally DISPLAY who and what they are. You're measuring yourself against trash and concluding that YOU'RE not good enough. Your ex, her sugar daddy, and all her other sex slaves have serious damaging issues. And that can't be your problem. You have a life to live, goals to achieve, places to go, and years to accomplish far better things. Your ex is on her way to many many serious problems and consequences and she is going to take down everybody who itches after her. It just happens that way. Get out of the chain FAST. Accept it. Pity them. SYH (Shake your head) and live your life starting by moving on to greener pastures that include career, achievement, self-acceptance, self-improvement (which we ALL must indulge), personal growth, and eventually after you've established yourself - true love with a woman of integrity.
That last point brings me to questions that just can't escape me as I've been reading through your thread:
----What qualities are in your ex that you love so much?
----What does she have that any good women can't have?
----Is physical beauty at the level she must have so important to you that you are paralyzed from recognizing that you still do deserve better? Is it impossible for you to recognize beauty elsewhere or even to define it beyond the shallowness of surface alone? There is something to recognize beyond a person's outward appearance. Look deeper. And that doesn't mean you have to throw to the wind your preference for physical beauty. But expand the qualities that you're looking for into a realistic list and not into a single need for physical beauty like hers. You'll be selling yourself short.
----Do you define yourself by your mother's standards? Respect her as you should respect your parents. But don't define yourself by what she thinks.
----Is she such a loss? Like a treasure? She made damaged goods out of herself and you're treating her like a loss that would have added value to your life had she stayed. Again, unless there is a miracle that she would have to willingly receive in her life, every man within that chain behind her (like a pack of k-9's) is headed for some serious problems or are themselves serious problems. Sorry. But there is no gold between the legs of any man or woman who sees their activities as "just sex" and indulge recreationally with multiple people (>1).
----Have you considered that, while you're pining over your ex, there could be a really good quality woman, with the capacity to return your genuine love, unknowingly in your midst who will eventually bypass you because you never snapped out of your infatuation to ever notice? You may have met that special someone or maybe not. But eventually, such a person may enter your life, and you may never know it happened because you're dreaming about the WRONG WOMAN. Not to say that you're ready for any relationship in this emotional condition. But don't sell yourself short of what could be available to you in an emotionally healthy state.
[This message edited by NowGuarded at 7:40 PM, April 21st (Saturday)]
