SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I had first posted on this forum many years ago when my spouse had been in a brief affair. It was a terrible time for me, and I was feeling so lost.

I was going through my old emails, and I found the original welcome letter form this site, so I thought I'd come back, and it really hit me how far we have come.

It was nearly 10 years ago, and at the time, it felt like my world was ending, but we stuck through it, and while it took some time, things did get better. My former WH worked really hard on himself , and we did as a couple. We went through some difficult times as a family ( not related to his affair) and have come out the other side much stronger. We have been able to experience some wonderful times like amazing fmaily vacations, watching our children graduate high school and move on to university, buying our first home and lots more.

It hasn't always been easy, but it's been well worth the work. While the ow in our situation was a really nasty piece of work, I've learned to (mostly)ignore her nonsense. She's not worth the mental energy.

In short, while the aftermath of an affair can be really difficult, it can get so much better. Just keep on fighting the good fight. You have strength in you you may never have realized.

First of all, your username is so great frozensprouts! Thanks for coming back to post and encourage the rest of us who are just at the start of the rough journey. It's great to hear that things have worked out so well for you and your H and that you are enjoying your life!

What a wonderful update post. Thank you for sharing this. Congrats to both of you on reaching this huge milestone.

Thanks for the encouragement, great to hear it was worth it for you.

Can I ask if the trust has returned? Do you feel safe again? Do you feel like you can sleep well at night knowing your WH is never going to cheat on you again? I struggle with this and sometimes, a lot of times, I just want to start afresh just to gain some peace of mind and if I meet someone else to be able to build some trust.

Thank you for sharing this. It's great to hear a positive story as so many of us, including me, wonder daily if we are doing the right thing for ourselves.

Great update! Thanks for checking in

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you're doing so well.

Thanks for all the replies.

To answer a few of the responses, yes, trust can come back. It takes a while, and it did require effort on both our parts.

My former WH even had to work with his ex-ow for a short time, which I hated, but it turned out to actually be a healthy thing for both of us. He got to see her for who and what she really was- she had already moved on to another mm by that point- and I got to see that I could trust him.

I can only speak for myself and my situation. His affair as almost ten years ago, and the road to recovery wasn't always an easy one. At some points, I think it was just sheer stubbornness on my part. One thing i will say is that after everything we have been through, we are able to talk about just about anything now. My husband told me a few months ago that, looking back, he realizes how he had lied to himself to make sliding into the affair easy for himself. He would exaggerate small issues that could have easily been resolved because when he did so, he cold lie to himself and justify his actions.

About my username...it's from" Are You Being Served" ( Strong Stuff This Insurance)

Thanks for stopping in to share your update! Whenever I see posts like yours after so many years of R behind you, it is good to know that true R is possible and that life gets better!

Thank you for the positive post. It's definitely encouraging to know that this can work sometimes, especially on days like today when I'm feeling so discouraged.

10 years... I can't even begin to imagine where we will be in 7 years, so thanks again for sharing the positive update.