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DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 3:33 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I'm a fan...you keep it real. Sometimes I haven't wanted to hear it, but you keep it real and I suspect you're right in most cases. So if you have the time and the inclination, I'd so appreciate you busting my ass right now.
Dated for 3 years. He starts texting prostitutes 10 months later, meets up with them within a few months after that. Has sex with 8, if we are to believe that he's honest (lol). 14 months of cheating. Porn addiction. Relapses on crack after 7/8 years clean during this. Goes to rehab, comes back, DDay when I read his journal. Is a shockingly honest changed man for 5 months, starts closing himself off again and drops recovery meetings, relapses on crack mid-April and I kick him out.
I miss this fool. WTF.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
gtflng ( member #63002) posted at 3:34 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Just read NO SOLICITING. I mean, that’s the same person, ya?
[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:11 AM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 3:36 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
NO SOLICITING Ooh, lemme google.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:12 AM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
gtflng ( member #63002) posted at 3:38 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Oh my god, ha! See you in 8 hours! You will love it ;)
[This message edited by gtflng at 9:39 AM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 3:41 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
OMG! Hee hee, that may be what I need right now.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
crazyinlove1995 ( member #53591) posted at 3:44 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Me=BH
Two Son's 24and12
Daughter In peace
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
And a book. Hallelujah. Downloading from Audible now.
You guys are the bomb.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:12 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
A reminder
NO SOLICITING: SI.com does not allow soliciting of any kind, publicly OR via Private Message. This includes links, URLs or references to other websites. If you have a product, service or website you believe to be in the interest of SI.com, please contact an Administrator.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
TheBish ( member #57108) posted at 4:13 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
NO SOLICITING is great. She is really good at articulating cheaterdom
[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:14 AM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
gtflng ( member #63002) posted at 4:20 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Oh, sorry! I knew no links, didn’t know we couldn’t mention websites. My apologies!
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 4:53 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Well...I appreciate the accidental rule-breaking in this case, lol.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
TheBish ( member #57108) posted at 4:56 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Read the book. Utilize her other resources. You will soon find your strength.
crazyinlove1995 ( member #53591) posted at 5:03 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Be mighty it is a great feeling.Especially when you stop giving a f&$#@
Me=BH
Two Son's 24and12
Daughter In peace
coastofsomewhere ( member #3624) posted at 5:22 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I'm not No Mercy...I only wish I was that badass! But I do have an opinion for you, if you don't mind...
You miss who you thought he was...you miss what you thought your life together was...you miss what you thought your future was going to be.
Look at what you wrote. All that stuff you wrote is him. Do you really miss that? Or do you miss what you thought you had?
It's okay to grieve the dreams you thought were coming true...but start to dream new ones too! The new dreams will be the rope you use to help yourself climb out of the hurt you are in now.
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 5:28 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Thank you, coastofsomewhere. You're right, I miss the guy I dated and married. I don't miss my husband. The guy I dated and married is long gone. I thought he was pretty fantastic, but my husband killed and ate him.
And I will be grateful for reality checks from anyone!
[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 11:29 AM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
Gramnolds ( member #59145) posted at 8:04 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I must admit, some of the posts I have gotten on my threads by NoMercy have gotten a “Take what you need and leave the rest” kinda feeling. Even if I wasnt in a good place to listen what NoMercy was saying, I still need to hear it. Keep it real!
"By the time that I`m gone, maybe then you will notice me."
tessthemess ( member #56395) posted at 8:07 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Oh goodness Dee. Maybe the crack seeps out of his pores and you've inhaled some of it.
I recommend buying a dog. They require attention and care to satisfy your need for a dependent but they treat you with SO much love and appreciation in return.
Free Bird, 36. STBXH, 36
EA confirmed Nov. '16, PA exposed Dec 11, 2016.
No longer a mess.
Separated and heading towards D as of June 1, 2018.
"It's a good life if you don't weaken." - Gord Downie
Iwantmyglasses ( member #57205) posted at 8:23 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
If I had posted at the beginning of this and I had No Mercy on my side. I would have divorced. :). I wouldn’t have had that moment of weakness....thinking about seeing my kids only half the time.
mharris ( member #46683) posted at 8:44 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Dee, the man you married never existed. It was all a facade. You see him as he really is now, so you will never get that man back.
We never really get the entire truth about the As, so in all honesty, it probably went on longer than you realize. We BS never get the truth, unless we are fortunate enough to have a spouse who will take a poly. You are going to have to accept that this is who he is, and what he did. It truly sucks. Can you live the rest of your life with this knowledge? It is something all of us have to decide.
I think my biggest problem would be having to constantly worry about him falling back into it. Also, I question the character of a person who would use another human being, prostitute or not, they are humans, typically addicts, or women down on their luck. Apparently, they aren't very hard to find, either, and he is likely to cover his tracks very well.
This really is the Shit Sandwich that people talk about having to eat.
DevastatedDee (original poster member #59873) posted at 10:23 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Oh goodness Dee. Maybe the crack seeps out of his pores and you've inhaled some of it.
I recommend buying a dog. They require attention and care to satisfy your need for a dependent but they treat you with SO much love and appreciation in return.
Hee hee! I have four dogs. Four adorable sweet doggies. That's the unconditional love in my life.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
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