SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

How do I stop thinking about her. She is constantly on my mind and I cant get her out. I try so hard and she just pops back in. I just miss her. I hate her. I feel so lost, empty and lonely. So much anger and hurt. I dream about her and wake up in a panic. I her hear talking to me telling me its going to be alright. I just want her out of my head. I dont know what to do anymore.......

You cant expect to turn it off overnight. Your a good guy, you really loved this girl you cant turn it off like a faucet.

Get busy with something else. Go do your hobby, go to the gym, repaint the bathroom that she picked the color of etc. Keep yourself busy be productive and d9 th8 gs for you.

At first it is the only thing you can think about and all you think about. Then you will get distractions where you forget for a while moment,then a minute. Eventually these periods of not thinking about it take longer and longer until you think about it once a day or week in something related to affairs or ex's etc.

She's fucking your brother, fella.

Do you even consider such a woman wife worthy? If so, you need counseling--and quick. Don't wind up as fucked up as those two sleazes.

/\/\/\/\/\ WELL SAID MIDNIGHT!!!

I agree with the above posts

You're giving so much real estate to people to do not deserve it.

Yes it hurts, yes it sucks. But...first world problems.

You have your health, the ability to start a new life modelled on the principles you desire in a partner.

By all means grieve and have your pity parties and be angry. End of the day, as a man, you need to do right by yourself and be accountable for your life actions moving forward.

Do you want to wallow and give time to those that could care less about you?

Or be king of your domain and look forward to all the great stuff you could be or do?

Does seem like a difficult choice?

Cut out all the people in your life who drag you down...even your own family. If your mom and dad are not holdfing your brother accountable for what he is doing, then cut them off.

Seriously.

It took me many years of giving and giving to undeserving family members before I came to the realization one day that my life was better off without them in it. I have two siblings whom I have completely cut off contact with because... well... they are users, much like your brother. It hurt to make the cut but I am glad I did. They are both human disasters and they only got worse as the years rolled on.

A person is either an asset to your life or a liability. If the person is a liability you need to cut off all contact as soon as possible.

Get a lawyer and fight for your kid.

I have good hours and bad hours. I am still just astounded, hurt and disgusted by what has happened and just plain dont understand. Understand how some much time can be completely thrown away, forgotten about and discarded so easily. Anyways I am really trying to work through this. I find it hard to get motivated most of the time but I try and stay busy.

I really want to f his world up. No matter what you guys tell me I will eventually. I am a patient man so I wont do anything right now. I know were they live, I can easily find out were he works. (if he has a job). I know alot of people om both ends of the spectrum. I want to ruin him, destroy him like he has done to me. I know he is a piece of shit and will never amount to anything but I want to destroy what little bit he thinks he has to were he is nothing at all. For all I care he can go live on the streets..

Read in the Healing Library about the 180 and employ it for your own sanity. You have to detach in order to get control of the emotion swings. People are selfish and your wayward is of that type. You're going to be okay and even better than you were before but you've got to take back control of your life. The revenge you're considering isn't a sweet as you might think. The best revenge you can have is becoming more successful than you were before this happened. Work on you and forget about them. Take care of yourself.

What is the dynamic between you and your brother? Is he older or younger. Were you the good kid and he the bad son growing up?

I am a patient man so I wont do anything right now. I know were they live, I can easily find out were he works. (if he has a job). I know alot of people om both ends of the spectrum. I want to ruin him, destroy him like he has done to me. I know he is a piece of shit and will never amount to anything but I want to destroy what little bit he thinks he has to were he is nothing at all. For all I care he can go live on the streets.

Ahhh! That's the spirit!

I too have had a very difficult time with letting the POS OM walk. Especially after he made advances on my daughter too.

Then he goes off and starts hitting on other wives and young ladies. Later I find out he was indicted for harboring a minor when he was in his late 30's.

He is a "performer" of music and pretty much has nothing to lose. He moves about circles of honest, kind, good natured people praying on them. It's tough to keep up with him sometimes, but I do.

I've pretty much informed everyone I need to in my state of what kind of POS he is and has been shunned here. Now I'm moving in onto other circles in which he travels. I'm not saying anything untrue or slanderous. I'm just warning people of his indictment of years past and of what I have seen and experienced lately.

While it is good medicine for the acrid taste of the adultery, it also keeps it in the present. So inform away but use discretion. Do it for a time, and then put it away for a while. Don't let it consume you.

Truly, your best and most honest revenge is not revenge at all, but the light of truth. Hopefully it will protect others from your fate. Be your best self and be honest, kind, and good.

As my priest has told me, "The Lord will bring justice, but sometimes you need to do your part." (I'm not sure if he meant in this life or the next.) But he asked me to make inquiries if other families have had their children approached by him. I did so and have shared.

Let your anger propel you to heal quickly and thoroughly.

Your wayward and brother are disgusting.

You are not destined to be with a cheater.

You are not obligated to call the AP “brother”. He does not deserve that title.

The pain these 2 assholes have inflicted on you was and is deliberate and malicious. Nothing you did or did not do caused these idiots to act this way. Please do not blame yourself.

I have no doubt that you will have an amazing life!

As for the 2 morons you are leaving behind...not a chance in hell!

My ww had a 5 year affair with my brother, who like yours is a no account pos. When it all came to light I wanted to destroy him in every way possible. I wanted him laid up for a long time, or dead. So tempting. Obsessed with it for months to be honest. I knew all along in the back of my mind that was the wrong move.

Eventually I had to let go of the anger and find some acceptance with all that had happened. And that's when I started to be able to feel a little better.

Good luck.