SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I’m only 5 months out from dday. I’m very undecided about R. We signed up for this a couple of months ago after our MC mentioned it. We have since stopped joint counseling and are seeing separate IC. Just don’t know if it’ll be useful right now or wait and attend if I decide to R. Any thoughts from those who have been would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I am currently going through the post sessions. But I'm crunched for time so I'll respond later.

I am currently going through the post sessions. But I'm crunched for time so I'll respond later.

You can PM me if you'd like...

My FWH and I did Retrouvaille and it was of great help to us, to learn to communicate with each other. We still use the techniques. The Post sessions are JUST as important as the weekend, so please commit to going to each of them as well. Even if nothing else occurs than you learning to listen to what each other is saying, it's worth while.

Going doesn't mean that your marriage is going to make it. Ours nearly didn't and I know of at least two couples in our group that divorced afterwards. But it does mean that if you two have communication issues, you may learn how to actually listen and seek to understand what the other is saying vice what you're hearing. A good tool.

Thank you. I was very undecided about going as I haven’t committed to R yet and actually canceled (we were supposed to go this weekend) I’m open to the idea of attending in the future, I feel it’s just too soon for me. I’m only 5 months from dday and still pretty raw. Our current marriage is dead and although I haven’t filed yet, I’ve taken many steps towards D. I just can’t work on this dead marriage, maybe we can build a new one in the future.

There are only two Retrouvaille weekends offered every year in our area. I saw an banner set up on the road to advertize their upcoming weekend , looked up the information online, talked to the group coordonators on the phone and we decided to try it. This was after partial disclosure.

The morning before the start of the program, I discovered much more evidence leading to full disclosure of the long tern affair. It was a long, hard day. I don't remember how fast I was driving down those country roads toward the retreat but I do remember how wide eyed and stressed my husband looked. I still find that satisfying

I walked in the venue and could only think that their was no point of being there now that I knew everything that I knew. The though of ever touching my husband repulsed me, I couldn't trust anything about him and I didn't think this could be fixed.

I was wrong. My husband came down the fence that same weekend.By the first post session was over, my husband was out of the fog. This program helped us find each other again and rebuild our relationship.

I know this approach does not work for everyone but do believe in it's potential to bring back hope and light in your relationship with your spouse.