This Topic is Archived
Western ( member #46653) posted at 3:10 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
why did you move out ?? She's the cheater. How can you take care of the kids if you are not there and how do you know who she is exposing the kids to.
You were right to file quickly. There is no loss in that. It gives you some control
Losingit1 (original poster new member #69980) posted at 4:55 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
I guess I don't know what to do. I constantly wonder if I am gaining control back by doing the 180. I feel like she is long gone and is counting the days until D is final. She text asked if I would more of debts due to having a better income for last few years. I didn't respond. Then last night texted again asking me to take trash to dump as If I still lived there. SO I don't know where her head is at. Sometimes she asks like we are still together with a text like that. She asked me to assist with Kids on her day. I don't know if she is trying to see if we can work or just stringing me along.
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 7:23 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
Losingit1:
What she is doing with the texts is very typical of a cruel narcissist. Do not bite. Total crickets. She wants to be free, these are her consequences. If you give in to take out the trash she will contually try to manipulate you. You have to be willing to risk losing the M to save it. If there is even a shred of hope of her snapping out of it, you need to demonstrate strength and are moving on with your life and going to be just fine. No contact, especially with a narcissist, means no new hurts. Doing the 180 is for you to heal, not to punish her. Good luck.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 7:50 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
I dealt with that at the beginning with my narc W. Don't take on more debt. Let her worry about the garbage. No joint bday parties, family outings etc. It's just more cake eating for her. Mine did a 5th grade graduation party, I declined and did my own thing with my kids. She was furious. Don't bite dude, trust me. I was called a pussy for not going out on halloween with DD11. We are not a family anymore. It's all kibbles for her. If she snaps out of it later, you can decide what to do. For now just do as you're doing. We all know it hurts.
Dismayed2012 ( member #49151) posted at 3:39 PM on Tuesday, March 12th, 2019
Sorry that you're going through this Losing. She's trying to use you as her maid. Don't let her. The trash and other issues around the home and in her life are not your problem anymore. She's made her decision; she's told you what she wants; believe her; don't second guess yourself or your situation. She's decided her future; let her have it. She's going to drain you as much as she can even after the divorce; don't let her do it. Your concerns should only be for you and your children. That's it. Keep up with the 180. Only communicate as needed in regards to the children; that's it. Again, sorry about your situation. Stay strong. Continue with selling everything and get yourself free from her and from the debt she's helped you accrue. Then take your life back by becoming your own man again. There's light at the end of the tunnel you're in. You're life is going to be better and happier than it ever was when you where with her. You'll understand what I'm saying when you get to the end of this. Take care of yourself.
Infidelity sucks. Freedom rocks.
manofintegrity ( member #69550) posted at 5:59 PM on Tuesday, March 12th, 2019
Divorce, do not talk about anything other than the divorce, do not have sex with her, let all of those other guys have her, take care of you and your children, do not go out with anyone until at least six months post divorce, get off of all social media, get into exercise and hobbies, do not look back, do not be plan B.
This Topic is Archived
