Sorry to hear about your situation skyrun.
Sorry about the harshness of this post but I don't feel that a sugar-coating is in your best interest right now.
It looks to me like you depend on other people to run your life for you so you don't have to face the uncertainty of making a wrong decision. If a decision is wrong then you don't have to man-up and take the blame. It's no wonder that you depend on meds and counselors to get through your days. Playing the victim is easier than having to admit that you've made your own bed.
As soon as you learned that your WW was having multiple affairs, you should have immediately divorced her with prejudice. Instead you stayed with her so you wouldn't have to face the uncertainty of life without someone else being in charge. Making decisions and facing the consequences as well as the benefits for those decisions is the most important part of life. Without that we just exist with no meaning or reason for being. You're a people-pleaser because you are afraid that someone won't like you. Realize that there are always people who don't like you and some of those who you try to please consider you with disgust because they subconsciously see through your act. I work with an individual like you. He constantly eats, regularly sees a counselor, and is on meds and sleeping aids too.
You would do well to shirk your fears and take charge of your life. You're spending a lot of money and time on counselors and meds when simply becoming your own man and taking charge of your life and those around you would resolve all of your issues. I know what you're going through with your WW's infidelity but she's not your primary problem right now. You've got to stop playing the victim and determine your own future; a future without people around you who do nothing but make your life miserable and drama filled. Never allow others to determine your fate. You decide for yourself. Dump the baggage that is your WW. Dump the baggage that is your desire to please everyone. Dump the baggage that is your care of what other people think. And then shake the hand of the other man and thank him for giving you a doorway to freedom; then tell him and your WW to f*** off.
I wish the best for you and I hope that you garner the strength to move your life forward on your own and free from your own insecurities and from other people's opinions and issues. I hope you continue to post and keep us updated on your progress. Take care of yourself. You are the prize, not anyone or anything else. This is your life, take it back and then start living it.
Again, sorry if this post seems harsh. I truly want the best for your future.
