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Dave2019 ( new member #70795) posted at 12:07 AM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2019
He truly thinks he is on a pedestal above you and he can refuse anything you ask for even though he is clearly guilty.
Imagine him on that pedestal getting all the attention from you, whether its screaming, asking for remorse, crying, praising for little efforts.
Imagine him now wearing laurels like some mini roman dictator
You get the picture.
Now imagine you not being next to that pedestal and never coming back to it, where is the power now? There is none, he is left wondering where you have gone. Not so confident anymore, it always crumbles.
As for blaming you for even asking, fancy that , what a truly awful person he sounds like.
[This message edited by Dave2019 at 6:08 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]
Notmine ( member #57221) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2019
Sounds like you are on the right track. Good for you!
When you're going through hell, for God's sake, DON'T STOP!
Stilldenying (original poster member #62712) posted at 4:53 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2019
Last night I brought up separation. Very calmly I said it is something we both need to think about over the next few days. I stated that he has said he doesn't love me, has zero respect for me and won't be accountable followed by "crickets". That MC could be considered but unless he is willing to answer my questions, show me the things I have asked for which he hasn't been, that there really would be no point. I recommended he consider his own counselling and that I will be going back to my IC. The bottom line was I can't continue being in so much emotional pain, so inconsistent in my behavior and lashing out. I said we can discuss the logistics after taking a few days to be sure this is the right path (this ain't gonna be cheap and I am a stay at home wife). That I think he needs to be away from me so he can come home without looking at his wife that he doesn't love and want to answer questions, truly live his life without me, see what the realities of that will be. And that I need to be away from him, to learn how to love and respect myself. Then I said that we can also take these days to also consider what/how we tell people. This was the only real response I got from him. He says you don't have to tell anyone anything, our business. I thought "Sure honey, let me continue protecting your ass sucking corporate climbing whore!!", But I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he is having sex elsewhere too. Anyhow, the discussion only lasted about 10 minutes, mainly he just sitting there with a WTF blank look on his face. The most of what I remember from him was saying do you really think this is going to help you get better? Then I watched the ballgame for a few minutes with him and then washed my face and said I am going to lay down now, goodnight.
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 5:48 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2019
The most of what I remember from him was saying do you really think this is going to help you get better?
Kudos to you for not immediately punching him in the face following this little gem of a question. How dare he question your healing when he has done nothing but cause you more pain. As if separation isn't good for you. So then what's the alternative in his mind? Signing up for polygamy and allowing yourself to slowly deteriorate into a shell of misery and insecurity? Fuck that guy!
This is a great step towards your healing and I hope he sits back and lets it go as smoothly as possible for your sake. You will feel so much better when you don't have to look at his smug, blank face anymore.
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