I didn't want him to know I researched his phone & phone logs - but I wanted to know why he acted so suspicious about it - I ended up pretending that someone told me about the girl liking him to give him an opening to tell me what happened.
He didn't take the bait so I had to bite the bullet and tell him that I knew he had dealt with this girl and why had he deleted their correspondence. He just said, he realized that he was on that slippery slope and wanted to just pretend it never happened. I informed him that I would rather he be honest about it, that I promise to not go scorched earth if something like that occurs - especially since he shut her down. In all honesty, I can see he panicked when she went further than he was comfortable and he didn't want the wrath of Mama dragon coming after him (or her). Still not cool though.
Then I told him I knew he had been talking to his Mom. At this point in my life, if he wants to talk to her that is his business. I know she is not healthy enough to come visit & my kids are now all legal adults - so if they want to know her that is up to them. Plus, the only way she'd ever see our kids would be if they went to her house and I didn't see that happening. I certainly don't have to talk to her or see her & let him know that I wouldn't anyways. I did let him know that I was pissed his Sister in law (found out it was her not the BIL) gave his number to her but I'd take that up with her at a later date.
I also stressed that even though Jesus had forgiven her, she had not apologized to us and I didn't have to forgive her. I probably never will, but I have reached the meh stage in regards to her. I also reminded him that he was not in any way, shape or form send her $$.
Reminded him that he has to tell me everything even though it has been 12 plus years since his Affair. He apologized and told me he would tell me from now on.
We shall see....
