RIO, do you not ever socialize with your wife? Never do anything in mixed company and get involved in a mixed conversation? This is all so bizarre to me. You don't need to take up whatever you consider to be female hobbies to meet and talk to women.
I don't seek out male hobbies. Don't even know what those would be. I'm an introvert, too, so I don't have lots of friends. I don't go to lots of parties. We don't go to clubs. I still meet men. There are a good number of (straight) men at my yoga studio. There are a good number of women at my fch's crossfit gym. We all talk to each other.
Kids' sports and school activities. You do have kids, right? I think I saw you mention that. Community events.
Yes, my husband is pretty good looking. He is in n good shape, has a very attractive face, and amazing eyes. However, he's quite short. So, while a lot of women think he's good looking, I don't think they find him attractive. He's not super confident or good with the ladies. I remember the first time he talked to me. He was so nervous he couldn't stop blinking. I actually went home and laughed as I told my mom about him. He has pretty high physical standards about who he is attracted to. Oh, and he hasn't dated (unless you count his cheating) in over 20 years.
OIN, you are equating drive and importance with enjoyment. I very much enjoy sex. That doesn't mean I want to do it all the time. It was one of the top 3 reasons I married my fch, if that gives you an idea of importance to me. I am the one throughout our marriage who has gotten upset about the lack of sex. I am almost always the one to initiate. However, if you ask my fch, he says he wants sex all the time.
Not to start another gender war, but...I think, a lot of times, when a woman doesn't enjoy sex, it's because her partner isn't good at it.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life