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See a lawyer, have papers drawn up. Right as she is leaving for the concert, calmly hand them to her and tell her to enjoy her weekend with AP.

Sound like there is enough to convince most anyone that she is having an affair. Nudes and male junk that isn't yours...and the love notes about ???

But then there's a disclaimer about not leading on...

She has a lot of explaining to do.

My plan might be to offer to go to the concert, 99% sure she will reject that offer. Sold out, you wouldn;t like it blah blah blah.

While she is with her BF print out the divorce papers from the county, fill them out highlight where she should sign. Leave it on the table...

Neatly move all of her stuff out of the bedroom and into a guest room if you have one. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a reason why she can't come home that night and will stay with her friend....

Shock and awe - she will either crumble and try to "fix" things or call you controlling, flip you off and go see her BF.

Sounds like she has a BF and you are on your own. Sorry.

[This message edited by MickeyBill2016 at 7:29 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]

Patrique, you make it clear that giving up kids to be with her is a big deal.

Fourteen years ago I had a choice between staying to heal a child-free relationship with the woman I then adored or moving on and looking to find love and children with someone new. I chose to stay. I am now 57. Not a week goes by that I don't wonder what MY children would be like.

You are conscious enough of what you are giving up but it is very obvious that your sacrifice is not even on her radar.

You wrote that your wife doesn't want children. I bet that with you out of the picture, she will find someone to have a child with. She just doesn't want children with you.

Please do not stay with this woman. Go out and find the mother of your real family.

Posted by Patrique:

Faithfulman: Fonelab won't get you deleted messages, from weeks ago? I read review and all were negatifs

did you try it.

I feel I have enough evidence to stop the relationship and look for another job outside the state and move on with my life

Yes, I tried Fonelab and it worked great for me. I have tried other alternatives and it worked the best for me.

You can recover messages (And a ton of other stuff) from days, weeks, months ago, sometimes longer.

If you don't want overwhelming evidence then skip it.

If you want to know for sure it will cost you $56, which I think is an excellent value.

And if it doesn't work for you, it only costed you $56.

She is having an affair.

You need to speak with a lawyer before doing anything else.

If there is a part of you that wants reconciliation to be an option then obviously you need to do this before the weekend. If you are ready to move in and the lawyer advises you that you live in an at-fault state then this weekend may be a good opportunity for a PI to get some pics.

This is a woman in an affair. She has deep feelings for him to be sending the text messages and especially charting horoscopes to see if they are a match. Women who are emotionally invested in someone behave like this.

I’d file for divorce and get moving along. You can always cancel if she turns it around and becomes committed to the marriage again.

As for children, you’re 43. Plenty of time left for you to be a dad.

I would do what NoOptTo suggests -

See a lawyer, have papers drawn up. Right as she is leaving for the concert, calmly hand them to her and tell her to enjoy her weekend with AP.

You are going to find out what's more important to her (or how deep she is addicted to the affair fantasy) right then and there, remaining married to you or go enjoy a short lived fantasy weekend.

If she acts dumb just calmly tell her you know everything. Don't say how. Don't respond to any questions about how much you know. Just say "I know enough that you have divorce papers in your hands right now.

Even if she chooses to leave, she will likely call you crazy, or a jealous and possesive person who needs help (even though you are the person letting her go with divorce papers), or she may actually try to convince you there is no OM or an affair and even try to haves sex with you to show you. We heard of all the manipulative behaviors they do but the point is if she still chooses to go to the concert instead of cancelling plans to address the marriage then she is choosing fantasy over you. She is choosing to leave the marriage because she is more invested in the affair.

Patrique, what’s happening?

Comment vas-tu, Patrique?