SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

FS,sorry you are dealing with this.

Your WW has shown you her plan, which is to take care of herself and she doesn't care about you.

You need to remember this. And start to look out for yourself and protect yourself and your kids.

I hope you have enacted the 180. I also hope that you have separated your finances so that she no longer has access to any money you are earning.

Not knowing the laws in your particular state, but in MD, alimony is calculated not so much on what each spouse is currently making, but what they are CAPABLE of making. i.e. if your WW could easily resume her career making six figures, CS and alimony is based on this. You should definitely ask your attorney about this.

Scarred

Sorry you are here. I am 60 with years experience but I don't post because my story is a book and SI is full of smart posters.

I am concerned about you because your wife sounds like my first wife, D in 1997. She was always two steps ahead of me (I trusted her). She was cheating and I did not know until just 2 months ago. Now I have clarity on her actions.

Long story shortened she negotiated an agreement that took good care of her and the kids and I signed (I wanted out). She then filed for the divorce ignoring the legal agreement. The divorce was four years of court cases (the longest and most expensive in that counties history)

She ended up with 1.4M because I didn't fight on day one. You have one advantage I did not, you know she is a cheater. FIGHT her starting today! Use the best attorneys do not cheap out like I did.

Get ahead of her fast, she may still be blind in love with her POSOM and that my give you some advantage.

FreshlyScarred I'm sorry this has happened to you. There are good people here who can guide you through this. I'm new to the infidelity game myself so I don't have much wisdom to impart. All I can say to you now is stay true to yourself and your kids.

She quit a six figure salary! Started a business on your back!

She really is planning this all out maybe with POSOM. Six weeks maybe six months.

YOU are so far behind.

Get a lawyer now she needs to be forced back to her high paying job (shirking) or you will be paying for her loss of income.

I doubt he was cheated on he is just scum feeding the plan with your wife.

She said you have not been paying enough attention to her and not having sex as often as she wished. You should inform her that you are in the same marriage as her and if you haven't been paying her enough attention then it stands to reason that she has not been paying enough attention to you. Sex in marriage is something that either partner can initiate so why hasn't she initiated sex with You?And to top it off, what happened to communication? Why has she never talked to you about her concerns? Many times reasons for cheating just don't wash. I do wish you well.

Hang in there FS.

Look, it takes two to want to be marri d. Clearly your WW wants to be with someone else. Her loss.

There’s really no choice here. You should see a lawyer, learn your rights and file. As a lawyer myself I like to recommend you meet with 2 or 3 and make sure to choose someone you’re comfortable with because unfortunately you’re going to work with that professional a lot.

You’re going to figure out the financial aspect and the co-parenting. The fact that she introduces your kids to her boyfriend isn’t going to matter. You’ll work something reasonable out and move on to the next stage of your life. A stage where you meet someone who doesn’t lie and cheat for 6 months and then lamely blame you for her own failings.