SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

@Nekoamida. When I stopped pursuing her after she cut me off and went as NC as I could being lockdown together, I think the cold reality of D frightened her and when she saw that I was serious. I didn’t maintain NC and we started having sex a few weeks later. We decided to keep trying, but I feel very hopeless about my marriage. Not that I don’t have reasons enough to leave, but I have reasons to stay too. If she were on dating sights again, it would cement my decision, there wouldn’t be enough reason to stay.

What exactly would she have to do for you to divorce her?

I am trying to figure out what that is???

What exactly would she have to do for you to divorce her?

I am trying to figure out what that is???

Cheating again is a definite deal breaker and going on a dating sight is cheating. I’m not even sure what sight she’s on, so I’m not gonna initiate a D on the unknown. I do have unfettered access to her phone, but I’d rather find out covertly at this point so if she is cheating, I won’t drive it further underground. If she is cheating I’d rather get my ducks in a row for a D (mostly done) them proceed, so I could move from a position of strength instead of playing catch-up. I’m taking one more shot at this marriage, but that certainly doesn’t mean that I won’t be D at some point.

Did you check in the installed uninstalled apps?

If you have, that would reduce which sites this could be.

Nothing in the install/uninstall part.

Oh man this is frustrating. I've searched app icons and wow. Theres even apps that look like games that are actually messaging apps.

Did you have her phone to check the install/uninstall apps?

F not why dont younhabe access to her devices? That's part of transparency and something she shouldn't be upset about.

You can search google image, put those keywords:

heart logo dating site

Yes but it doesnt neccesarily have to be a "dating" app.

Messaging, gaming and "secret apps" all have logos/icons. I've looked at pages and pages of them looking for anything that resembles what he described.

He needs to get a hold of the phone.

I do have access to the phone and looked at it front to back and I’ve found nothing. I hope I’m tilting at windmills at this one. Nothing in the install/uninstall area. I just hate that after 2.5 years, trust is still so damaged from her affairs and especially the lying.

Ok you have access to her phone.

Now when you saw the icon pop up was she at all trying to hide it? Or close it off quickly?

The very bottom of my tag line says it. The lying is what keeps the affair wound from healing.

You could face this head on. Ask her what the icon was and that without being able to resolve this you'll remain unable to fully trust her.

I do hope it's nothing though. This stuff is hard.

Now when you saw the icon pop up was she at all trying to hide it? Or close it off quickly?

I don’t think that she even knew that I was behind her and was just closing the app because she was done. I’m hesitant to ask because I haven’t caught her in a lie in nearly 2.5 years (The lie that I polygraphed her over) and when I’ve checked up on her she’s always been right where she said she’d be (secret GPS). I feel like I should trust her, but it hasn’t come back, but I don’t really want her to know that, it seem punitive to me and I feel that I should be farther along.

[This message edited by Gunnut at 10:47 PM, July 26th (Sunday)]

I saw an ad for this today while my son was playing on his iPad next to me.

[This message edited by Lightshallbreak at 6:46 AM, July 31st (Friday)]

Nope, not Likee. The colorful heart was more blotchy and I’m not certain that it wasn’t a blotchy colorful heart shaped photo either, I only got a glimpse of it.

Facebook dating logo?

I don't know how to link but if you search there are a couple. One looks quite similar to your description.

The Facebook heart is a little too plump. The heart that I saw was similar to the Zoosk heart that someone posted right away, but I scoured the net for Zoosk messaging but I found nothing like what I saw.

If she was truly trying to be a safe partner, you should have just been able to ask her to show you the message. I've been where you are, and I regret that I spent so much time and energy playing detective.