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Repost: Got a Divorce

bluelights posted 7/18/2020 08:17 AM

One year ago I came here in utter despair. I was about to take my life. I wanted to save my marriage, and I thought my ex was going to say sorry and try to save everything like other stories I read here. Describing the dynamics of the relationship though, the good people in this forum warned me that she was actually a terrible person, that she was a liar, and that I should not trust her. We sometimes do not get what we want, but what we need. What she did was unspeakable. She had no respect for me or my feelings, that there was not a relationship to save, that I deserved much better. Turns out she was really a psychopath (I do not say this lightly). I am 1 year NC, she never left the other person, never said sorry, never even tried to contact me. I lost everything I had in my life, but I have earned my dignity back. I just want to say thank you. The time I needed the most, that I was so confused, that I could not tell a sheep from a shark, you helped me see how wrong I had been about the whole situation. Thank you. 1 year NC, 8 months from the finalised divorce (that I paid for, signed, and took care of alone). Well, I am free.

fareast posted 7/18/2020 08:24 AM

Thanks for the update. Very happy to hear you survived her infidelity and are moving ahead into a better life. Keep up the no contact. Best of luck.

Sofarsogood posted 7/18/2020 08:29 AM

So glad that you are recovering. I'm fairly new here, but I do know what it's like to feel that the one person that you loved and trusted turns out to be somebody that you don't recognize. Nobody is worth harming yourself over. We are worth much more and it is them that are lacking. Hope everything is going well and so glad to hear things are looking up for you!

bluelights posted 7/18/2020 09:06 AM

The first 6 months were horrible, I wanted to kill myself. I was hospitalised many times, got multiple surgeries. I lost my job, I became homeless.

I got to point where I was and still am looking for food on dumpsters.

It was worth it. The pain is horrible, but I . survived. There is nothing worse than live with someone that lies to you, betrays you, tries to ruin your life.

I am happy I left.

One day I will look back and be glad, I already am even though my life is still a mess. I am very happy now, can you all think how happy I will be when my life is back to normal?

[This message edited by bluelights at 9:07 AM, July 18th (Saturday)]

Chrysalis123 posted 7/18/2020 09:11 AM

The time I needed the most, that I was so confused, that I could not tell a sheep from a shark, you helped me see how wrong I had been about the whole situation.

What a great way to put the utter confusion that can happen. I too could not tell a sheep from a shark.

I am glad you are free. Thanks for sharing.

homewrecked2011 posted 7/18/2020 13:47 PM

Yeah, my xh married the OW who is a psychopath. (She’s even been involved in a murder. I get it, I believe you, and so many people on here do, too.

I sought help from the Salvation Army and they were wonderful! Their food pantry is open everyday, I think.

Keep pushing thru this! You’re getting better every single day.

HalfTime2017 posted 7/20/2020 13:57 PM

Good luck BL. Keep picking yourself up. Food pantry/ shelters/ whatever it is that could help prop you up until you get back to your normal life. Good for you.

Don't look back. Better days are ahead of you.

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