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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 7:43 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020
They didn't for him. Made me the bad guy, the selfish, crazy wife who could never be happy, who always had some issues, some problem, some feelings that had to be tended to. There she was... the compliant, generous, innocent GF...never wanted to hurt anyone, never wanted to come between us. Only that's right where she was.
It's harder to see clearly when you listen to the words. People can sound so reasonable, particularly when they're really good at stretching logic to fit their agenda, and also when they know us well. But it's the ACTIONS which tell the story, as you are seeing now. Cut yourself some slack for not seeing it before. Once you start watching for verbs, you can't unsee the truth.
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10
bewuzzled (original poster member #31584) posted at 9:45 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020
It's harder to see clearly when you listen to the words. People can sound so reasonable, particularly when they're really good at stretching logic to fit their agenda, and also when they know us well.
🎯 That's exactly how I feel about him and this situation. It took a long time and alot of pain to see things clearly. I let my emotions cloud everything and I have been blind to what the truth really is. I also believed so completely that he's better than me, that he would never betray me, that I couldn't see it was happening from day 1 of the breakup, and frankly before that, during the 3some while his feelings grew for her.
Cut yourself some slack for not seeing it before.
I am, I see now what happened and why it was the way it was for me. I am doing much better with my detachment and him and the M are on my mind less and less all the time. I'm busy building a new life...finally.
fWW/BW (me) 42 now MH
BH/WH MH (him) 42 (StuckOnTheFence)
2 kids (21& 18)
D day #1 1/20/11
D day #2 1/28/11
I am seeking, I am striving
I am in it with all my heart.
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