This Topic is Archived
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:27 PM on Friday, October 16th, 2020
Since so much therapy is now done remotely, why limit yourself to Texas? Isn't Texarkana closer to Little Rock than to El Paso? If you're in El Paso, isn't Albuquerque closer than Corpus? And if you do remote therapy, does location matter at all?
Much more important, what do you hope to get from MC?
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
EmbraceTheChange ( member #43247) posted at 6:33 PM on Friday, October 16th, 2020
This is why I come to SI - knowledge. Makes me feel better knowing I wasn’t crazy to doubt the MC we had and his tactics. We went for too long.
I had 1 counsellor asking me if I was still going on "THAT" forum. I was told that going on S.I was making me trigger. Sorry, no, it was the whole story of the affair that was making me go off constantly - he fell in love with OW and so did she, while he saw me and the kids as something to "escape" (his words, I couod have killed him), and the added stress of my husband very possibly losing his job, the affair starting again, m.i.l fighting for her son's rights (if he was going to live in an apartment, so should I, with the kids. Not fair that he worked his entire life while I had kids as hobbies. Oh and if I wanted to live in my house, I owed him the entire money she gifted both of us).
If I could turn the clock back, I would go to a infidelity trauma specialist and ask for help, instead of thinking that asking for help was a weakness. Logically I knew I needed help, but to be a victim was a big no no in my books. So I minimized the trauma and my massive depression. And I always wanted to be fair, so his cheating was "our" problem and maybe I fucked up? Obviously his reasons to cheat were laughable and the way he took the piss in my back was everything but fair, so after a while I saw it as his fuck up, not mine.
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination
NowGuarded (original poster member #54064) posted at 12:53 AM on Monday, October 19th, 2020
Since so much therapy is now done remotely, why limit yourself to Texas? Isn't Texarkana closer to Little Rock than to El Paso? If you're in El Paso, isn't Albuquerque closer than Corpus? And if you do remote therapy, does location matter at all?
Much more important, what do you hope to get from MC?
I agree. I actually thought about that.
BW 53/WH 51 (remorsefultoo)M 27 yrs/4 KidsDDay 12/19/15 (OW age 25 on dday) Last TT 8/2017.Finally breathing and healing. R-better than possible
NowGuarded (original poster member #54064) posted at 1:06 AM on Monday, October 19th, 2020
If I could turn the clock back, I would go to a infidelity trauma specialist
This is what I plan to look for for IC. But for MC, at this point, I guess I feel like I'd be doing the bulk of the work to seek out a decent one. I don't know.
With D-day being almost 5 years ago and me joining SI just over 4 years ago, I'm bothered that we still need counseling on how to move past behavioral patterns that are unhealthy for our marriage. He's so self-serving in really damaging ways.
ETC, I'm so sorry about what you've gone through btw. What you've experienced sounds horribly close to my own.
BW 53/WH 51 (remorsefultoo)M 27 yrs/4 KidsDDay 12/19/15 (OW age 25 on dday) Last TT 8/2017.Finally breathing and healing. R-better than possible
This Topic is Archived
