Larger update on the whole topic.
1. My friend OBS wanted to talk so we met. She wanted to know if there was any chance to continue communication. It was a very friendly chat, where I explained that I needed loyalty and safety in a friendship. I also understand and respect why she could not give that. I told this friendship wasn't working for me and that we needed to end it. She was understanding and kind, while also devastated.
I know it had to be done, it's just not common for me to put myself first in this way - I still feel a bit guilty and disloyal that I cut off a good person, and that I let my kids down so that they can't see their friends. In that sense, me and OBS are much alike. As my therapist said with a sad smile - "No christian heart is enough to endure this kind of friendship".
2. Overall, I am formally getting out of infidelity:
- NC with everyone related to A - xWW, her parents, AP, OBS + their innocent children 
- Completed mediation to agree on kids topics
- Sold my half of the apartment to xWW
- AP and xWW both deleted me on social media. I chuckled a bit at the fact that they think about me so much 
- We told kids that mom and AP did something bad. I am not happy to keep them guessing, so within a couple of weeks I am telling them the full age-appropriate story, with or without my xWW
- Only thing left to do are the final divorce papers, ETA in a month
Fortunately, no lawyers, no arguments around children. You could call it an amicable divorce 
3. I observe my xWW from afar and keep wondering who I lived with all these years. We had a small social circle and did nature trips or classical concerts as prime pastime. She was always concerned with ethics and the first to point out unethical behaviour, including mine. Now she has tons of new friends, social life - dance parties, several weekly friend meetups etc. Also a FWB that I found out about from kids. By accident I found out that she was liking and leaving memorable comments on the guy's social media at the same time as she was in love with AP...
[This message edited by ZDZD at 11:59 PM, Sunday, March 19th]
