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Newest Member: Random51

General :
WS's first F up since DDay. It's a big one. I'm spiraling.

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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:27 PM on Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

Talking to other women,especially an ex girlfriend, about issues in your marriage is not "affair recovery." It's giving other women a window into your marriage. That window should be permanently nailed shut. It's an appalling lack of boundaries. Which is what lead to having an affair in the first place.

100% agree. That's how a lot of As get started.

It didn't read like he was trolling for a new partner, but your point is a very good one. Most As probably don't start that way anyway. Some start with commiserating about personal issues.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 4:29 PM, Tuesday, April 4th]

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1798   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8785678
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

I'm hurt by the sharp rebuke and don't think it was deserved.

SacredSoulSister Welcome to SI. My apologies, you were pointing out a scenario I wasn’t aware of, I was speaking to OP about sneaking around and hiding messages, that is someone not serious about R.

Someone coming home, apologizing for something they couldn’t control is totally different. A WS Isn’t going to be perfect, but lying and sneaking is an absolute no.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3710   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8785710
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 9:52 PM on Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

Thanks, Tanner.

I agree with you. His behavior isn't that of someone who really "gets" what is required to R. I hope he got a wake-up call.

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1798   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8785716
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