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Livingingrief (original poster member #79723) posted at 2:02 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023
For the last 6 months, my H hasn't really been in the mood to have sex. It's been 2 months since we were last intimate and it worries me. He says it's because he's tired all the time ( he works in construction in the heat all day) , so I do try to believe him.
My issue is when DDAY came, and I asked him why he did it, one of the reasons was because "we didn't have sex". He actually told his AP we didn't have sex which was a complete lie. We might not have been having sex as much as we used to but we have far less sex now. The longest we went without sex before dday was 2 weeks and a few days. And the only reason we went that long was bc I was so tired from working all day and then going to school til 9pm which was hard on me.
Why would he lie to his AP?
Why is he now not interested in sex like ge used to be before the A?
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 2:16 PM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023
How old is he? Has he been fully employed, perhaps with a lot of overtime? Any stresses besides work? Any medical consultations, especially around low T or ED?
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I know it's painful.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Livingingrief (original poster member #79723) posted at 11:39 PM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023
Sisson,
Yes, he works full time and then he works on our rental properties almost every evening. I know that has to have an effect on it but he has almost worked alot, even before his A and he still always wanted sex. I'm starting to think that it wasn't the sex he wanted but the attention and he thought that sex was love.
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:41 AM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023
It's possible that he really is tired. Maybe he's depressed. Maybe he's starting to experience ED.
Or maybe he's getting his needs met elsewhere.
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:04 PM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023
My reco is to ask him to see a good doc. Age, stress, other demands on energy all do nasty things to one's abilities, but there are ways to deal with all of them.
If he does see his doc, and if there is something the doc can do to help with no appreciable side effects, he'll be very grateful you suggested medical intervention.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 4:14 PM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023
He's never been remorseful, or particularly honest. He hasn't done the work a ws needs to do.
I'd start investigating. Start with a var in the car.
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
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