My wife and I have been together almost 57 years. She was my first, but I was one of many she had had. I discovered that she had suffered several traumas that formed her view of men, love, sex and marriage.
The first was her and her mother being abandoned by her father when she was just approaching puberty. The father left, was living with another woman hundreds of miles away. Five years later, his affair ended and he returned home to resume his place as "head" of the family.
Then when she was a teen and willingly gave up her virginity to an older guy, instead of asking her to the Prom, he left and joined the navy.
She started college and in her sophomore year, began a relationship with a guy. She became pregnant. He walked away and left her alone. Her parents sent her out of town to avoid the stigma of an unmarried pregnancy in her town. She had the baby and gave it up for adoption.
I met her when she was back in college. We were attracted to each other and in a matter od a few weeks we had intercourse. It was my first time with a woman. She became pregnant and I offered to stay, and we were married.
There were no problems for a number of years - then she was away on a business trip for a week. She was working a trade show and conference, hoping for new leads, orders etc. When she returned and we were in bed, I jokingly asked "So, did you get any action while you were away?" And to my shock she answered "Yes. Do you want to hear about it?" And she told me about her "adventures" A few days later she even made an audio tape of what had happened.
Here's what was on the recording -
"When I first went to the conference, I had no idea that I would go to bed with someone while I was there. As a matter of fact, I decided I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to get in the position of …… would get around that I’d go to bed with a customer…. it’d be a difficult situation when I was visiting a customer.
"So, I went to the conference trade show, and I was very busy doing all kinds of things and really didn’t have time to visit with the whole lot of people who were there. But I was doing a lot of talking with the man who was in charge of the lights and blowers and electric for the booths, and so forth. He and I talked quite a bit that first day or so I was there and after awhile, he started saying stuff like he should take me around for a tour of the building and he could really show me some things and that…and that I shouldn’t be down there all alone and I needed somebody to take care of me while I was there and his suggestions got a little more and more personal as time went on. I really didn’t pay too much attention to it at first, and then finally decided, after several references, that maybe he was interested in getting into my pants. Well, I wasn’t sure I was up for that, as he wasn’t a very exciting person physically, anyway. Not the type that turns me on at all."
"But after several references, I thought that I should respond in some sort of positive way just to see what would happen. And I said ‘Oh, that would be a good idea and maybe we should go for a walk or something.’"
"So finally, one time in one of our conversations he said he thought that the best thing for me when I was tired might be a nice big prick. And I said he was probably right. We laughed about it and he one time said that he had a big cock and he could take care of me and that he thought I looked horny walking around and I don’t know how he got that because I was mostly very tired."
"So once he said that, I started really getting interested because it’s always nice to have a big cock to play with and besides I wanted to see is…what he considered bigger or smaller than my husband’s. So I wasn’t quite sure what he had to offer, so I thought, well if I get a few minutes and we can steal away, I can check it out and see what he had. So , well l said that after he said that to me that he had a really big prick, I said to him that I thought that it might be nice to get a little relief from the bustle and bustle of the trade show. "
"So we made an appointment to get together later in the day, which was really hard for me and I could never quite…I couldn’t quite get there and he was standing around waiting for me to come down to his end of the trade show. So we went down and he took me off behind the curtains looking for a room that was unlocked.
"So we went in there and he locked the door and he started kissing me. And I thought this is getting kind of interesting. So of course I responded . Then he thought we should turn the lights off, but I wanted to get a look at what he looked like before he turned the lights off, to see what was there. So he unzipped his pants and he brought out a big cock! It is not awfully long - not as long as my husband’s - but it was bigger around."
"So I told him he was right, he had a ‘big cock’ . And he must have been told before because he was really hung up on the size of his prick and how big it was and how I would like how ….. like the size of it and so on and so forth. So he kissed me for a few minutes ."
"Then I sat down on the couch and gave him …gave him a taste and a lick and he didn’t like just his cock licked, he wanted it put in my mouth as far as I could get it, which was really hard because it was awful hard to get it in my mouth and my mouth isn’t all that big. but I did the best I could and brought it all in that I could and he really liked it. He liked the way I sucked him. So we had a nice time at that for a few minutes and then we took our clothes off and were in the dark by this time because he couldn’t leave the light on in case somebody walked by and try and get in the room because it needed to be turned off. So he turned the light off so I really didn’t get to see him too much after that.
Then he laid me down on the couch and lay on top of me and put his big cock in me and it felt really nice. It was bigger around and that felt kind of good. So we went at it for awhile. He kept calling me "Babe" , and he…he was still talking about how , how his big prick was pushing up in me and did I like how big it was and so on and so forth and I did, because I hadn’t been to bed with anybody for a few days and I was really anxious to have a little something anyway."
[note - she refers to not "….been to bed with anybody….." , no reference tome, her husband, but instead "anybody" suggesting that she had other lovers]
"So we continued on for a little while and I was really enjoying it by this time and he was good at what he did . So he and I made love for a while - nothing...awfully passionate ….and he liked what I was doing to him so that was exciting. And I gave him a little more suck - he liked me to suck on to as hard as I could but that was so hard for me because he was so big that ….it was exciting! Just….to hold your hand around a cock like that….it was a new experience…."
[note – she said it was the thickest cock she’d ever had, said it was as thick as her forearm and she loved it]
"So, after it was over, we got back up and went out into the trade show and I walked around again, hoping I didn’t look too disheveled and he went back to doing the thing he had to do….and we hoped we could get back together again before the end of the conference. Which we did. We were able to several more times – sometimes twice in a day…
When she played the tape for me I realized she had edited much of what she told me that first night home, lying on our bed.
Here's is a narrative much more in tune to the way she told me of her affair -
"Yeah. I fucked this guy who worked at the Memorial Building where the trade show was. He said I looked good to him and maybe I should relax a bit. He took me back to a room and we started kissing. Soon he was feeling me up, his hand up my dress and caressing my pussy through my panties. I felt his cock through his pants, and it felt big! Soon we stripped and we got down on the sofa. He had a pretty big cock, and it was very thick! I was sucking him and then he got down and ate my pussy until I came. Then he fucked me - me on top sitting on him, and I came again. Then he fucked me from behind and I came again as he emptied his load in my pussy. It was great! After that first time, we were able to fuck almost every day - sometimes twice a day - for the rest of the conference. It was fantastic and I loved every minute of it!"
That was the first time. She saw that her story excited me, and a few weeks later she invited a good friend of hers to dinner. The woman - who was very attractive and divorced - showed that she was interested in me! A touch, a hand on my thigh at the table and so on. A week or so later I went up to her apartment one night and in minutes we were in bed. My subconscious thought was "I'll show her - my wife - I can screw around too. I told my wife, just as she had told me. She had no objections and had then had a one-night stand with a visiting friend of a friend. Then she started a long affair with the guy who joined the navy when she was in high school. But when I started to become romantically attached to my new lover, she demanded it end - choose - her of the new love. I choose to stay with my wife and never saw the other woman again. My wife then began to get into threesomes with her Navy lover, two, males or two females, she did both. She actually demanded of Navy that they do a threesome with two males - and she chose me to be the third. It was strange but also exciting - to see her desired by another man, making him bend to her will, to be in total command of both of us until we surrendered our seed to her. Later she set up another threesome for us with another woman. She at least didn't try to hide any of her escapade from me. But after about a year, I happened upon a note she left on the table and had forgotten to mail -
"Hi- had such a great time the past few days! Though I am a bit sore from all that action. Still, I loved it & can’t wait until we can be together again. How many times was it in the two nights we had? Three the first night & twice the second - well 2 1/2 as I sucked you for the 3rd. Mmmm. I can still taste your hot cum in my mouth. Oh and then when you surprised me in the morning & talked me into taking in my ass - I really liked that. So different & I even came again. Oooh, can’t wait to do that again. Well got to get to work - give yourself a feel for me & I will do the same"
signed by her
I confronted her with the note, she said it was a one-time thing and would never do it again.
But of course, she did - I had several phone calls by men asking for her but not leaving a name or message. I called her hotel and a man answered. I found new sexy panties and bras in her travel case that she never showed me. And she even called me from her hotel told me she had a lover coming by and suggested she leave the phone off the hook so I could listen while she fucked him! Afterward, she called again and described in detail their lovemaking, while she masturbated with her vibrator.
Her affairs went on for years - always when she traveled for business, and often with the same guy with whom she was on the same business group. She's see him maybe 3 or four times a year - always on business trips. He was married and about 11 years older than she. It was to him that the note was addressed.
At home, she was the model wife and mother. Teaching Sunday school, involved in civic groups, women's clubs, etc. She was a wonderful mother to our kids. She also had to provide care for her elderly father. To me she was usually a loving wife and we had sex several times a week. But then she got a good high paying job, that demanded more out of town travel she'd be away Monday to Friday. It was now about 15 years since her cheating started - or at least I became aware of it. She began avoiding intimacy with me, vetoed the idea of my going into the same industry she worked in, she had lost 10 or more pounds, and talked of joining a gym. While having intercourse with her sitting on me, she began mowing in a very different and exciting way - the stopped and went back to the usual. When sucking me and I came she continued to vigorously suck hard which was uncomfortable and unlike her usually. Then she began to withhold sex from me - too tired, leave me alone, not now, etc. Finally, after about 3 or 4 months of no sex she announced she wanted to separate and that we were through. I suggested counseling both of us and me to control my temper. She would stay nearby at her elderly father's house. That lasted about a week, and she decided to come home and we would try counseling. We went weekly for about 3 months and things improved! We were together again, having sex again, she left her traveling job and took a position with a local company. I am sure that the cheating also stopped - finally. About 15 years later, she wrote in a memory book for a class reunion, of all the accomplishment she was proud of - " Staying married to T for 43 years - and hoping for many more". I never saw that at the time, came across it by accident 15 years later. I validated that all the strife we had gone through had in the end been worth it. That 15 years of betrayal and doubt had finally been overcome. I had been the man who did not abandon her, even though her overt actions were certainly designed to drive me away and prove to herself that no man is to be trusted. I mean look how we met - a pretty, single girl goes to a bar with another girl, looking for what? Maybe to find a good looking guy and see what happens. I was just another guy in the bar that she happened on. I'm sure she thought "Hey, he's not bad looking, maybe fool around a bit. Maybe get him in bed and see how he does. He is a pretty big guy, maybe he's got a package that's big too! - that would be nice! But only a quick couple of times and then the semester will be over and - see you later guy!" I had so little sexual experience that I didn't realize how different she was from most young women of her - and my - generation. She loved sex, would do almost anything and try anything. Marriage? Love? What has that to do with the pleasure of sex? She wanted to control every man went to bed with, through the use of her body and sexual skills. No man would again abandon her; she would be the one who said goodbye. She used sex to increase her power over men - by seducing them to get whatever she could from them and then she could leave. She wanted to be in control.
The only flaw in her plan was getting pregnant the very first time she and I had intercourse! Oops! One shot and bang! She got pregnant. I never understood why she wasn’t using some sort of birth control, and god knows I knew nothing! I’d never even put on a rubber – never had the occasion! When she told me, she probably expected I’d run like hell, and she’d again be abandoned with an unwanted baby. Abortion wasn’t legal then.
But I surprised her by accepting the responsibility! I’d marry her! That must have come as a surprise, but nothing else ever entered my mind. So, she accepted and we married. So, with her attitude toward love and marriage, the road got pretty rock after a bout ten years. But we managed to get through it, and after had a great thirty years together. To me she was one in a million - I had won the lottery and didn't even know I'd bought a ticket! I never regretted a minute of it.
Now my wife of almost 57 years has dementia and I'm caring for her. It's heartbreaking to see her as just a shell of that sparkling young woman I fell for all those years ago, but I try to see in her now the beautiful girl I met all those years ago. I'm trying to understand why she cheated on me for so long, hoping that I can put all that behind us and just remember the great times we've had together, the two wonderful children we raised and hope for a little more time when we can be happy together. We're both closing in on starting or ninth decade in this life, and If she passes before I do, I don't know what Ill do. It's been hard this past year as she slowly fades away a little each day. end.
