SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm honestly in hell, I've been struggling so much since finding out my husband has in fact slept with the AP multiple times over a long period of time. I've never been so devastated and haven't been coping and unfortunately turned to alcohol. 2 days ago the worst thing imaginable happend I drank loads of wine was calling people crying ended up getting in my car to drive to a friend's house crashed into a lampost and got arrested, spent the night in jail and will now end up banned from driving. Before anyone tells me how bad it is nobody could say anything to make me feel any worse than I already do I never thought I could ever get so low and I don't know how I will ever get over all of this. Ashamed and devastated.

Oh no. : ( I’m so glad that are you safe and that no one got physically hurt. The only way forward from rock bottom is up. Something to tell yourself- do I want to continue in a relationship that makes me at my worst? Or puts my mental health in danger ?you have to start taking care of you. No matter how shitty you feel right now you are worthy of having a good life. Please don’t let him take that from you. Please tell someone in your life what’s going on . Get support. No other person is worth your own mental health. Especially someone who could go behind your back and do that to you. Prayers for your healing

You are in agony. You would never have done that under normal circumstances I assume. Please be gracious to yourself. Start seeking support through here or family you love and trust, and a professional trauma therapist. Allow yourself to feel. I know that seems odd....but it is the path healing. 😢. You are loved.

Sending you hugs (((Selenite))).

I was a very heavy drinker for decades. I quit about ten years ago and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

You might feel good temporarily, but waking up with those hangovers is the worst. I can only imagine what drinking would have done to me when I found out about my wife's affair.

I'm not going to scold you or tell you how bad drinking is. I'm in no position to be preaching to anyone about drinking, and I know you already know.

I would only encourage you to not seek it when you're already down like this. Alcohol is a depressant. On an already depressed nervous system it can really wreak havoc.

It will get better. I had an extreme DUI. I had my license suspended for 6 months (but was allowed to drive to and from work) and had to have an interlock device in my truck for a year. I also had to spend ten days in the pokey on work release. That was 20 years ago. I've been through this. A year or so from now this will be a blip on your radar. It just sucks when you're going through it.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

Thank you everyone, Im honestly devastated and I know it's happened because of what my husband did and people keep being nice to me saying it's because I've been struggling but it's still a disgusting thing that I've done and doesn't excuse my behaviour. It was bad enough dealing with the affair and now this on top my brain is in overload 😔

We understand. But you will get past the drunk driving incident. Thank God no one was hurt. Just start dealing with the betrayal. Get yourself a Betrayal Trauma Specialist as soon as you can. They will help you get through day by day. You can often see them virtually. That is what I did and it worked very well.

No, it doesn’t excuse it and you’ll have to face the consequences and take your medicine for having done it. But you can also take comfort in the fact that you’re not in your right mind right now, and you can use this as a "look in the mirror" kind of moment. Hopefully in short order you can look back and say that was the moment I turned it around and started processing this whole thing intentionally.