Last week was the worst week of my life. My wife said she wasn't happy and wanted to leave me, the marriage couldn't be fixed, we need to sell the house and work out arrangements with our 18 month old little girl.
It was all very sudden and nearly killed me.
For the next few days I was just in immense pain and wanted my wife back.
On Saturday she told me she had an affair, physical and emotional, in the 18 months since our daughter was born with a man from work.
She showed a lot of remorse and how much pain she was in. She said that she thought the way to reduce my pain was not tell me and to run away. But she couldn't and wants to fix what she's done.
Strangely all I want is my wife. I want us to fix things and work out how we got here. Our life can't go back to how it was and we aren't the same people we were before it. But I want her and only her.
My family think I'm crazy and have no self worth because of this.
The thing is, something needed to happen to blow up our marriage as we weren't happy, we were disconnected and stopped communicating. She had her needs met elsewhere during that time. It's not an excuse for her as she made continuous conscious decisions that she knew would destroy me and possibly our marriage.
But once it all came out and she described what she wants and what she's willing to do to show me she wants me and this marriage, I felt relief. I felt clarity. It actually raised my self worth as I realised what I deserve and she has to reach that.
We both realised what it would mean to lose each other and that was horrible.
I wish she didn't do what she did, but part of me is glad something happened for us to make that realisation.
My question to anybody in this situation is this; am I delusional and crazy? Has anybody had these similar thoughts?
