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rivenheart posted 4/17/2013 20:10 PM

I want to lash out, scream and yell at them but I know it wouldn't help. It just sucks that I had no say in the matter, I wasn't involved in the decision process. No warning, No "we have to talk", fucking nothing but a see you later, you'll be better off without me.

I realize this probably sounds harsh and unsympathetic (to you), but you will be better off without her. I'm glad you can see all the crazy for what it is. I know that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, and I'm sorry for all you've been through. It will get better though. Moving fast on the D was probably the smartest strategy, and having her sign so quickly will be a blessing in retrospect.

Hang in there and take it hour by hour if you have to.

jjct posted 4/17/2013 20:36 PM

riven has the right of it my brother.

You will laugh with great joy someday, that you dodged a whole hail of bullets...in the same place you screamed. Yes. You will laugh and move on.

Please, just make sure you come back here and tell us about it.
A dam good joke will do.
It'll help other riven hearts heal up and make do. Girlz like fireman stories.
Menz like surfing and beer.

So the plan is to move to Hawaii and join the fire department.

Waits posted 4/22/2013 10:56 AM

Thank You Rivenheart and jjct. You're both right. I will be better off and I definitely dodged a lot of bullets. It will be 2 months from the day she told me tomorrow.

I made a list over the weekend of "The Reality of Being Married to My WW" I came up with 50 items rather quickly. All things I was dealing with in regards to her and all the needs I had that weren't being fulfilled.
I wanted a reference for when she comes back knocking on the door.
Now I also know from this list will come the things I need to work on so I don't find myself in relationships that repeat the same cycle.
I also in time need to explore what it is inside me that seeks out relationships with people who won't give me what I need and why I felt I didn't deserve better. This I have been doing in therapy.

Now I've just been in a daze that no amount of caffeine can stop. Still having bad dreams about my WW. I continue to feel that something was ripped out of me. Emotionally all over the place and definitely taking it hour by hour.

I picked up the book "How to survive the loss of a love" which has been really helpful.
Have another massage this week and trying to stay busy doing nothing in particular.

Thank You all for replying and giving me advice. It has helped me immensely.