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Divorced now but want a book to help with pstd

Daisy312 posted 8/11/2017 07:22 AM

I'm still struggling 5years later and want a book to help eith the ptsd from the A. Most books i see are for R-ing couples. I want to learn to love myself and a new man:)

BitterlyBetrayed posted 8/11/2017 11:19 AM

What about Transceding Post Infidelity Stress Disorder by Dennis Ortman? I haven't read this one yet, so not sure how it directs to a new relationship.

Daisy312 posted 8/11/2017 15:27 PM

I was actually looking at that one online and was wondering too If it would be beneficial in a new relationship. I know I'm projecting past hurts onto other people and it isn't fair.

sillyoldsod posted 8/11/2017 17:17 PM

Whilst not specifically aimed at the PTSD aspect, one of the very best books I read post divorce was 'Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends' by Bruce Fisher.

I would also highly recommend 'Starting Again' by Sarah Litvinoff. The book encourages the reader to explore their childhood life scripts and how they likely contributed to the demise of the relationship and how they can use that awareness to create healthier relationships going forward.

Best wishes.


hcsv posted 8/12/2017 15:39 PM

Thank you all for the recommendations I, too, have been looking for some resources.

sunwillshine posted 8/12/2017 23:55 PM

The Body Keeps Score was an excellent book about ptsd. I actually listened to it on audio book. I'm not sure I could have read it. It is a research book written by a psychiatrist (can't spell his name). This book was instrumental in me understanding my ptsd and seeking help for it. I actually went to an inpatient treatment center and am so very grateful that I did.

hurthumiliated3 posted 8/14/2017 12:42 PM

I am currently reading Living and Loving After Betrayal by Steven Stosny. The beginning was about the biological effects of stress and betrayal on the brain and tools you can use to counteract them. I am on chapter 8 now and the focus has shifted to healing by focusing on your core values, using gratitude and cultivating what is important to you. The focus is really about healing yourself and not really the outcome of the relationship.

I also recommend Rising Strong by Brene Brown, that was really helpful for me as well. It is not specifically aimed at infidelity, so it might meet your needs as well. It is a quick read, too.

Jose68 posted 8/14/2017 12:59 PM

I tried the Stosny book, but there were so many different exercises in it, if you try to do them all you aren't going to have time to have a job or cook a meal!

I will try "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends". Any other suggestions for someone still stuck and mopey after a divorce? (Non-Christian focused, please)

[This message edited by Jose68 at 1:00 PM, August 14th (Monday)]

marji posted 8/14/2017 13:03 PM

If you want to learn about clinical PTSD try The Body Keeps Score. It is by Dr. Basel Van dear Kolk who is considered the authority on PTSD.

hurthumiliated3 posted 8/14/2017 16:47 PM

I tried the Stosny book, but there were so many different exercises in it, if you try to do them all you aren't going to have time to have a job or cook a meal!

Jose68, yes! There are a ton of exercises. I have to admit I have only done one or two written down as the books asks. The rest I just think through, otherwise I'd be reading this book for a year. I am still finding the reading helpful.

trying to smile posted 8/16/2017 22:35 PM

Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J Elliott.

I have a couple more, just need to find them.


smokenfire posted 8/18/2017 11:57 AM

I don't know if it is stictly related to the affair, if it's life long the BEST mind blowing book is one on CPTSD - (chronic/complex PTSD). If you search amazon for cptsd it's the first one that comes up.

Forged1 posted 8/19/2017 09:09 AM

There's an unabridged audio version of "The Body Keeps the Score" on YouTube.

hopefulkate posted 11/9/2017 12:42 PM

Another vote for the body keeps the score!!!!

Then find a therapist who can help with emdr and other relatively new trauma specific therapies. EMDR can be game changing.

Also, read the PISD book last week. Eh? He starts by saying he is a wayward because he chose to marry instead of be a priest for God.

I get the feeling and what he is meaning, but the pain of betrayal and what we actually go through seems to be missed. As well as a really narrow focus on the different types of affairs and whys. But that’s my rather jaded opinion.

Lily12 posted 11/9/2017 20:35 PM

I would definitely read The Body Keeps the Score and for sure try and find a therapist that does EMDR work. That could really help with the PTSD. Lots of trauma certified counselors out there.


redsox13 posted 11/11/2017 06:04 AM

I recommend The Body Keeps the Score and EMDR.

Bigger posted 11/15/2017 11:39 AM

Not a book but…
I suffered from PTSD. A combination of events that I dealt with as a cop but MAINLY the infidelity of my then-fiancé.
The key to my recovery was twofold:
I realized and acknowledged I had PTSD (as it seems you have).
I took all of 4 sessions with an IC that specialized in PTSD and cognitive behavioral therapy. Could probably have skipper the last two sessions…

If you know what you are trying to cure and follow the advice then it’s a really quick fix.

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