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General :
So now WS trying to imply I am having an affair

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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 1:53 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

So I work in finance and I was asked to go with my boss to meet a client and review her pirtfolio. I tell WS as soon as it is confirmed which was this Tuesday. The meeting is Friday. I text him today to tell him again the time of the meeting. When I found out Tuesday I told him time, name if client and gave address. He claims I told him 1:30pm and not 9:39am. This is a lie plus I told him I have to leave early to pick up flowers for her as her husband just died. Why's oils I pick up flowers in the am if my meeting isn't until 1:30pm?

Anyway tofay client changed time to 10am and he says something is fishy with me and this guy? What? If I wa sup to soemthing would I give u all info plus we have a GPS tracker on our phone! This posse me off but honestly I was waiting for him to do this since I found out about his affair, waiting for him to find a way to accuse me with any man. Honestly I have been stressed all week putting together documents and doing analysis for this meeting and he has the nerve

My mom and friend who has been through her husband having an affair both say he is just being immature and insecure. My sister says she thinks he wants so bad for me to have an affair to alleviate his guilt. My friend says that he is just trying to get a rise out of me and that I should not entertain a convo with him regarding this as he knows he makes no sense.

Annoyed. Honestly tired of WS and have little tolerance for his b.s.

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003438
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 2:01 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

He gets to be immature and I don't??? That's not fair.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13534   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8003447
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 2:08 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

I think your family is seriously downplaying this. It's easy for them to tell you to brush it off and ignore it when it's not happening to them. The worst thing that you can do is not address it because then it's guaranteed to continue. No one can read your WH's mind to know that some how he doesn't mean it and will drop it on his own. He's got some real nerve to accuse you 2 years out for 3 As. If I were you, I would tell him an appointment will be made with a couples counselor or an attorney - his choice!

posts: 5232   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8003453
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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 2:08 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Lol thanks Notthevictim. I needed that.

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003454
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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 2:22 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

I am way past couples therapy. I have very little tolerance for his crap. I don't know how to take it. I ripped him a new 1ond said I would never hurt him how he hurt me destroy my family or anyone else's. Plus if I was cheating I wouldn't tell u when I am with my affair partner...he made absolutely no sense. I am just sick of him

I have done theraou, read books, listen to speakers, websites, prayer, etc yes things have gotten better but I just have no tolerance for anything when it comes to him.

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003472
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 2:28 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

I vote you poop on the floor.

And when he gets upset just keep motioning to it like it's a gift you brought him.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13534   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8003480
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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 2:29 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Lol,

You are on a roll today.

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003481
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 2:34 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Projection, projection, projection. My WW accused me of cheating while I was still being trickle truthed to death. We(BS's) do NOT have to put up with this shit.

Tell him that some people have morals and integrity, and don't need to sneak around to get our kicks.

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8003484
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 2:35 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

N+D, so what was his response to that and what are the consequences for him acting in ways you won't tolerate?

posts: 5232   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8003485
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believehalf ( member #49925) posted at 3:01 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Projection! my WH constantly accused me of crap. Even when I accidentally found a text with a hotel room # on his phone...he claimed it was info someone gave him about me. Sick really.

posts: 259   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2015
id 8003506
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 3:28 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Turn off any and all trackng, and tell him to pound salt up his ass...he’s the cheater and should be begging you not to leave him.

Why are you staying?

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8003526
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mccloud ( member #52604) posted at 3:39 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Yes, it is bullcrap. My stupid cheating WBF accused me of cheating on him during our entire relationship. It bullcrap. And I was able to see his messenger and I saw that at the F'ing time that he was calling me a whore, he was texting his slut and saying that he couldn't wait to give her more of his dick. F them. It's bullcrap!

Together 8 years. Dday #1 3-18-16 Dday #2 3-21-16 It is almost 3 years since D-day. And I am Not better. I am not over it. I am not back the way I was. I am still So broken. So lost. So hurt. I still can't understand why he was so horrible

posts: 652   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2016   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 8003532
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Nycountrystrong ( member #53531) posted at 3:49 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

As others have stated, it's his deferring what he did onto you. Many of us here have had the false accusations that we are cheating leveled at us.

I think it's partly because they feel if they will do it so will you. Either as a revenge affair or as you having the same moral faults as them.

And partly for them to take the focus off of what they did. If you are off balance and defending your own actions, you are not questioning theirs. Classic wayward behavior

The more people I meet the more I like my dogs !

posts: 679   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2016   ·   location: Ny
id 8003543
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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 1:20 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Thank you everyone for your posts. I am moving forward th r issue has been addressed and I won't discuss it again. My meeting is this morning and I am curious to see if Ws will text me feverishly when he knows I am with my boss. If he does I will respond I can't talk because discussing business l. He acted like he was upset this am, didn't kiss me by and has been responding to my texts with one words. This type of thing bothers me and use to bother me alot because I hate when he is mad and the tension. So although it bothers me i keep telling myself he is projecting and you are doing nothing wrong.

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003785
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:24 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

he is just a very sad and broken person.

You on the other hand are strong, and awesome.

The insanity of it all stops when you stay it does.

((((And strength))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8003789
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 NaiveandDecieved (original poster member #51105) posted at 1:30 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

Thank you tushnurse, how do I stop this sort of behavior/reaction. Through a lecture? By ignoring?

Me:BS 31
Him WS: 35
D-day: Aug 7 (my birthday)
PA: 2 years 6/2013 to 8/2015
PA #2: off and on 8-9 months 10/2014 -7/2015
EA: 2 months 6/2015-8/2015
Just trying to survive

posts: 773   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2016
id 8003798
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harrybrown ( member #59225) posted at 5:11 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

will he go to IC?

he will not stop.

posts: 1060   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2017   ·   location: deep painful dark hole
id 8004036
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