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Newest Member: wonkeddev

Reconciliation :
Finding it hard

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 MrsM (original poster new member #59223) posted at 4:38 PM on Thursday, November 16th, 2017

It’s been a year since D-day I’m finding it very hard to deal with everyday things especially when it comes to my husband. He just ticks me off can’t even remember something as simple as one our children’s appointments. I’m just tired of his crap it’s always something.

BS: 35
WH:41
4 children in total 2 children together
16 years together married 8
Dday Oct 2, 2016 (1 day before having last child)

posts: 43   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2017   ·   location: Nj
id 8025404
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 5:46 PM on Thursday, November 16th, 2017

(((HUGS)))

Sometimes adultery is a dealbreaker dear Lady. R is HARD with a remorseful spouse...it was impossible for ME when my 1st H was very UNremorseful. I chose D with my 1st H...and it is a decision that was hard at the time...but it truly was the best for me...and I've never regretted that decision.

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8025484
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Geranium ( member #53865) posted at 7:16 PM on Thursday, November 16th, 2017

Your husband has cheated throughout your marriage. And now he is making some half-assed efforts to appease you and assuring you that he cares for you.

You feel betrayed, hemmed in, alone, and don’t know which way to turn.

You have 3 little children...

You do not need to make a decision now. But neither can you afford to wait for things to get better. They/he likely won’t.

At this point, your energies are best expended on making you strong and emotionally resilient. Letting go of the outcome. Detaching from the drama and the emotions and instead focusing on practicalities.

Speak to an experienced lawyer. Get your ducks in a row. You don’t have to leave him now if you don’t want to. But get yourself in a position where you could.

But at the same time, try to do some things just for yourself. I know this can be hard with 3 children to care for. But try to be selfish! Get a babysitter if you can afford it. Enlist the help of family and friends. Do things you enjoy. Even if it’s just snatching an odd half hour here and there, reading a book, listening to music, looking at paintings...

And always remember you deserve better than this.

[This message edited by Geranium at 1:23 PM, November 16th (Thursday)]

both late 50s
together 4 decades
children have flown the nest

posts: 546   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2016
id 8025564
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