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In denial

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Bigger posted 11/24/2019 18:04 PM


I think one of the major mistakes people make when divorcing is thinking it can all be nice and lovely and you will have tea and eat scones together as if nothing ever happened.
I also think one of the biggest mistakes one can make when divorcing is to make it harder or tougher than in needs to be. I believe the process is about as fair as it can be, and if we make reasonable and well-argued claims we generally get 50/50 out of it.
ButÖ even getting ďonlyĒ half requires being willing to step on your exes toes and keeping a distance. IMHO itís close to impossible to divorce without confrontation, resentment and pain.

If you two divorce the best outcome would be that you two are amicable and good coparents.

ButÖ I would think that working together would be TERRIBLE.
I think having her around 8 hours all weekdays will be a constant scratching at your recovering heart.
What about if she starts dating?
What if you two have business disagreements?

I am strongly suggesting one of you leaves the company.

Limbo79 posted 11/27/2019 07:37 AM

First joint mediation went surprisingly well. Long way to go. No demands on her part.
Lots to work out.
Iíll never get the truth from her or the why. But time to move on.
I need to make sure I donít give in and give up to much. Hard to give up after having a common goal for so many years. 1/2 a house isnít enough to get a new house and not easy to get a mortgage at 56 and self employed.
But the mediator seems very good and impartial.

dblackstar2002 posted 11/27/2019 11:01 AM

I strongly believe that once you cheat you are not my friend or anything else to me! Just me personally, I don't want to spend any time with people of such low caliber! Even if we had kids, I would be civil with you until they come of age then I will hope never to lay eyes on you again! There would be no reason to. Not saying this in a mean way, But I don't understand how people who betray you like this truly think you can have any type of relationship with them or would want to? It boggles my mind...

Limbo79 posted 11/28/2019 07:09 AM

I agree, it is very hard to look at my ww and not say what the f**k are/were you thinking. You lied to me multiple times, didnít support me when I was going through cancer treatment and basically have sh*t all over our relationship.
But itís in my best interest to keep the mediation amicable and as pleasant as possible. And yet she talks about what is best for our kids and us waiting and taking the divorce slowly so as not to upset them.!!!
It really pisses me off! But what will I gain by saying that? I just have to focus on the future and make sure I stick up for my rights.

paboy posted 1/23/2020 01:03 AM

Limbo. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you are well, and that you are further ahead in getting out of your wife's deceit.

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