You are in the right place and making good choices with NC and counseling.
Right now, you are not in R you are in recovery mode. Reconciliation takes years and lots of ups and downs and lots of emotions, fears, thoughts and words of divorce, separation, etc. It is not a straight line. You need to enter recovery knowing at some point you may have to lose the marriage in order to save it. You need to know that divorce is ALWAYS an option for a betrayed spouse, even those who were doing well in reconciliation sometimes years out decide they can't do it anymore. It is normal, and when you accept that you can't force an outcome, it will become less emotional for you.
That being said, at about 3 months out my husband also saw a divorce attorney, yes it scared me, but I knew it was for his own peace of mind, he also discussed setting up a post nup with an infidelity clause in it. And he had every right to, it is his security blanket and the price I have to pay for my choice to have an affair and lose all his trust.
You are not justified to be upset, you are justified to be scared and worried for your future. You also would have to consult your own attorney to know what you may be facing if you agree to a post nup.
This is a really really long process, and lots of times his actions will not match his words and vice versa. I am 15 months from dday and I do not consider myself in reconciliation. I still take it day by day. Hopefully your BS will come home and have a discussion with you regarding his meeting and it will take some of your fears away. Good luck, but buckle up, its going to be a bumpy ride!
ETA: He does not have to be committed to "R in full" the fact that he even has his pinky toe dipped into R should be enough right now. There is absolutely no way a BS can be committed in full this early on. You still need to show him you are a safe partner, that takes years.
[This message edited by pinkpggy at 11:45 AM, June 14th (Thursday)]