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Neverbeblindagain (original poster member #58260) posted at 6:24 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
A few months after DDay2 I found SI and was a complete mess and starving on hopiam. My heart wanted so badly for him to become the guy I thought he was. My brain had other ideas. she latched onto a statement that was repeated again and again to others and to me.
GET IT IN WRITING, get a seperation contract if you've waffling. Do something to protect yourself.
Thru the storm of gaslighting, restraining order on AP, and buckets if other fun crap I got a seperation contract because people here were insisting. I didnt understand how that paper could possibly help but I did it. I didnt want a divorce, he said he didnt either, but I was scared and someone said the magic words that made me move to get something "
just in case
"
THANK GOD I listened! Yeah he won the civil 60 and we start meditating for the final orders again, but he didnt win because he had a case. It was because I hired a horrible lawyer who screwed up 6 ways from Sunday and didnt even bother to file the contract the divorce decree was based on which is a huge no no and invalidated the divorce decree.
Oh well, and I say oh well because that contract, the worthless paper he didnt want, the one I didnt understand the value of, written while he was trying to save his ass IS SAVING MINE in every way imaginable.
He owes me a lot of money because of that contract, he cant force the sale of the house nor split the kids because of that contract. He is screwed because of that contract and gives me so much bargaining power. Also with him demanding the seperation contract be followed during the CR60 he cant fight it or say that it's not valid.
I think this is karma. All he cares about is image, money and his new family. the contract shreds all that to high hell. I know I am suppose to feel bad but I dont. He shot himself in the foot and now is paying the piper. the way things were before the CR60, he had it easy and it was way cheaper. Now..... well he is going to be paying out the nose 
Can you tell it's a good day?! 
LTA with slutisourus/2DDAYs
Fuck his lies and fuck the lies I told myself that kept me trapped.
Divorced the narcissist and bloody loving it.
" years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute" edgar Allen poe
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:28 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
I'm glad you protected yourself and you are reaping the rewards! Those "just in case" efforts can often become priceless in the long run. Good for you! 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 7:57 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Always works out to protect yourself - even if you never have to dig it out of a file.
So proud for you - so glad you had your own back.
And so glad it's a good day. You deserve more than a few of those.
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
ohforanewme ( member #59230) posted at 8:08 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
In my early time posting on here I often kicked against advice. They didn't understand my circumstances. My case was unique. It had subtle nuisances.
Then I was repeatedly shocked. They seemed to be prophets. They accurately predicted twist after twist. Almost as if they were writing the script if my life. It was quite eerie.
I have since learned that it is just that they have seen so many cases and that all waywards did seem to follow the same script.
Glad that you listened and that it worked well for you.
nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 8:26 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Hot damn that's awesome news!
Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23
Neverbeblindagain (original poster member #58260) posted at 2:40 AM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
Thank you everyone!
Ohfo, t is mindboggling how everyone knows the book cheaters use but the newly betrayed. Thank goodness they have our best interests at heart. We hear everything they say and apply what we can handle, and they dont take offense, just keep supporting us. It's truly wonderful
Chili, Phoenix, and not this, we need to dance to this happy beat!
LTA with slutisourus/2DDAYs
Fuck his lies and fuck the lies I told myself that kept me trapped.
Divorced the narcissist and bloody loving it.
" years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute" edgar Allen poe
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:11 AM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
Yes! Glad to hear that paid off. You deserve it.
Yay!!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
MadOldBat ( member #44146) posted at 5:11 AM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
Oh my goodness (((Never))),
That's a tremendous update!!
I was so worried for you, i read up about cr60 - because i'm not from the USA and wanted to understand.
I'm really, really pleased that it actually turned out to your advantage. Serves him right.
I'm sorry that he put you through all that worry though.
Congratulations and hugs to you!
MOB x
Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.
CurseBreaker ( member #64201) posted at 5:34 AM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
What states are y’all in that have the cr60? From what I understand GA doesn’t have anything like that, you’re either married, separated but still married for religious reasons, or divorced.
Me: BS, 30’s
D-Days: Up to 14! Must be a record or something by now...
D-I-V-O-R-C-E, that’s what infidelity means to me
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 9:33 PM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
I did the same thing early on....got it in writing all he was agreeing too before he changed his mind.
My attorney formalized it and it was signed early on.
Like you - BEST advice! My ex tried to say "I changed my mind about the house....." but it was too late. It was all done in that earlier contract.
Only way it could be overturned was IF I AGREED. Nope - sorry buddy.
So happy for you.
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