Well, he did it again.
Recap: I trusted him a few months after the first DDay when I caught him by looking at his phone when he was asleep and got a text message. I have to check it for him in case it is work related so I looked and saw, "I'm coming to see you now. Let me know if you get this." He is a truck driver and visits sex websites on the road. Then I discovered he contacted whore houses in Ohio and multiple other women in his messages. He never admitted it or confessed or anything so I rug swept. He told me that he was just having fun and never met any of the women. Yeah, riiiiiight.
DD2: He was home for the weekend. He wakes me up in the morning and asks me to go shopping, at 7 am on Saturday, I'm not a morning person...but I digress.. I tell him just go and go shopping without me and I'll see him later. No big deal. A good, trusting wife I am. Idiot!!
Well, the morning passes. The afternoon passes. The evening passes. It's getting to the wee hours of the morning and no sign of him. I wake up Sunday morning and he's STILL not home. He's NEVER stayed out all night. After I'm awake and thinking of things I started getting worried for his safety. I talked to my older son and he said it's not like him to do this, we agree, so does my daughter in law. I call the police department and tell them I want to report my husband missing.
They come out to the house and I answer all the questions; what vehicle, license plate number, color....etc.
As just an aside and throw away info I tell them where he parks his truck on weekends. The officer goes up there and, sure enough, finds him. He tells the officer that we had an argument, which I had no idea. I suddenly receive a text message from him saying why did I call the police and trying to laugh it off. He tells me that his phone's battery wouldn't charge and that's why he never contacted me after all the texts, calls I tried to call him. "I didn't even buy a charger." Which struck me weird. (As soon as I get in our vehicle I see a brand new charger. He lied about that. WTF????)
I get my son to give me a ride to his truck without telling WS about it while I'm on the phone with him. He tells me he'll be home in about an hour.
Two minutes later we surprisingly pull up and there he is. I told my son to just drop me off and I'd handle it, I didn't want him involved any more than that. I go up to the truck and he's trying to tell me he was drinking and didn't want to drive home.....which didn't make sense because he NEVER drinks at his truck, so I didn't buy that.
So when he gets in our vehicle to drive home, he tries to show me his phone, how the battery was almost dead....the idiot had his gmail account open and I saw messages...I grabbed his phone out of his hand, which he started demanding I give him his phone back. I quickly get out of the driver's side to get a look while he walks around the outside of the passenger side to get the phone back and I see, "Hey, Sweetie, I'm a truck driver in Suffolk, can you come see me?"
Her response: $80.00 an hour 100.00 for two hours.
I was sick to my stomach. I get back in the truck as he tries to get back in and I backed up so fast (carefully, of course, I didn't get that crazy). He was moving slow, laughing it off trying to make a joke of it. He tells me that he was just sending harmless messages and playing. I tell him BULLSHIT! And took off.
I went home and got his clean clothes that I took the time to wash and fold and pack for him while I was waiting for him to come home, did a drive by and threw them out my window in front of his truck.
I am done with this and want out but I am not leaving this house. I helped design this place to fix it up and helped pay for it. It's as much mine as it is his. I refuse to answer his calls or texts. I know sooner or later we have to discuss this situation and I'll handle it the way I want to, with total control. If he doesn't confess the truth I want no part of him. My older son told me he will make sure I'm taken care of and I trust him. My younger son is 16, almost 17 so he's big enough to accept this.
This entire relationship has been a charade and I refuse to keep it going. I am so confused. I know things have to change but the only thing I can change is me.
I hope this wasn't a rambling post but I had to vent.
Thank you for reading.
[This message edited by Justme77 at 4:05 PM, September 3rd (Monday)]