SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

honesttoafault posted 9/6/2018 20:24 PM

I regret also that I didn't leave right away, but I lived in a lot of fear and was so depressed and paralyzed that it seemed I couldn't do anything. Then there was a bit of false R, and I was still afraid. I was afraid that he would kidnap the kids overseas. So I stayed and slowly was killing my soul.

Now, after the latest OW, I finally stood up and wouldn't let him back in the house. I am financially destitute and will lose my house.

I wish I did leave so long ago when I was younger and had more years to work and build up something for retirement. I barely make enough to survive.

I'm trying to forgive myself for not leaving and it hurt my children in the process. I'm so angry at him, but more angry at myself for allowing it.

I hope someday I can be at peace. But it is so very, very lonely. But perhaps it is better to be lonely because you are alone, than to be lonely when the person you had loved and gave up everything for is sitting there texting yet another OW.

Zigin posted 9/6/2018 20:51 PM

Not much to add here other than to thank everyone for adding on their bits - and to Wildbill for starting this discussion. Sobering thoughts.

Butforthegrace posted 9/14/2018 05:31 AM

Bumping for new posters.

CincyKid posted 9/14/2018 05:59 AM

Selfish people will treat you as good as you demand and as bad as you allow. You've allowed way too much.

Pinkypeach posted 9/14/2018 15:27 PM

I am at worry point, I would love to R but that's based on the man I married. I am struggling coming to terms with who he now is. I don't know if I want to be married to that man. People can change, he certainly did to have the affair in the first place. The OW I think is a very insecure person who was taken for a ride the same as me so he could get a thrill.
She's now left by the wayside, I didn't marry someone who would treat others like that and don't know where to go from here

betrayedintexas posted 9/18/2018 20:18 PM

I TOTALLY feel your pain! WH had an A with a POS at work. We have 3 children, 2 in college, I’ve been a SAHM for 11 years with no college degree😔 I’ve been trying to find work but at 45 it’s been really hard! I have drilled it into our daughter to NEVER depend, go to school, make a life for yourself first. He’s doing everything to fix things, even walked away from a law enforcement career to try to “start over” but I just can’t see past the betrayal, I wish like hell I’d had a stable job and I could have walked away from all this bullsh$t! It does suck to feel stuck and I’m following this thread for any advice