SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

DestroyedWife80 posted 9/16/2018 16:50 PM

I have a lot of proof- no pictures or video of the act, granted...but a LOT.

-Sexting with 6 other women since the beginning of our relationship...complete with pics/videos exchanged and him inviting them to his hotel when traveling as well as discussing possible meet ups.

- Numerous searches for escorts & massage parlors...many calls to those places AND several times where I couldn't contact him for a period of time and after reviewing his phone records he called a BUNCH of those places just before I couldn't reach him.

Ummmmmm...how can you be a rational adult human and deny that anything happened...I literally am dumbfounded.

farsidejunky posted 9/16/2018 16:54 PM

Gaslighting.

Remember...they don't have to believe it...or even act as though they believe it.

Only you need to believe it.

The more important question is why you need him to acknowledge it. Because as long as you need it, you are providing him the opportunity to gaslight you

Take that opportunity away from him.

DestroyedWife80 posted 9/16/2018 17:04 PM

Thank you. Very valid point.

I mean...I am somewhat intelligent. If anyone came to me and told me those exact circumstances and said they believed their spouse...I'd have a REALLY hard time not laughing in their face.

The situation with the regular women ??? I'd give it 50/50 that something did happen.

The excort thing??? 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% something happened & this is FAR from his first rodeo, I'd say a chronic user of these hoes.

CrossedArrow posted 9/16/2018 19:49 PM

There is no doubt that the day you stop trusting your inner instinct is when you lose self respect.

CatsNTats posted 9/17/2018 03:52 AM

They like to try to believe their own lies so they don't look bad. Maybe cognitive dissonance. One second they're sorry - the next they're not, and they "didn't do anything."

You're not alone. It's also gaslighting - and trying to make you look and feel crazy.

better4me posted 9/17/2018 10:32 AM

Found this on line;
A Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did
You deserved it.

My WXH told me the sexual things I was reading off of his email, written by him to his AP, weren't written by him.

Cheaters have a playbook....

TrustGone posted 9/17/2018 11:19 AM

I guess to me, even if they attempt to do it, it's just as bad as if they actually do it. You have to proof that he attempted. Only you can decide how to go from this moment forward.

inmisery1 posted 9/18/2018 20:49 PM

Both times I caught mine he was taking to them and I overheard the conversation. First time we were Skyping while he was on a business trip, he thought he's hung up with me, but didn't ,I overheard him talking to her, calling her honey and telling her he'd pick her up after work. Even though I'd heard everything and repeated it back to him, he denied and denied. The second time(another woman) he was again on the phone with her down in our basement in his "manacle". I heard him telling her he's gone through a lot of trouble to arrange for me to be gone for the weekend so they could have the house ( and MY bed to themselves). Again when I confronted he denied it. I HEARD HIM! He was totally busted and still denied it. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad.