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The worst trigger ever...

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honesttoafault posted 1/26/2019 17:30 PM

All BS's tend to compare ourselves to the OP. For women it might be that she was younger/prettier/better body/bigger boobs/ etc etc ad infininum. You are saying something from a man's perspective, and I get it. Men might use the penis as a symbol (Freud would have a field day here). Phallic symbols have historically been in cultures all over the world to show some kind of strength. But it is the men who made these symbols, not women.

But listen to the women here!!! That old saying about it's not the size, but how you use it is true.

The majority of women are turned on more by a LOYAL, good, caring man FIRST. We cannot see how the man's penis might be in the beginning of a relationship. HOW he makes love has nothing to do with penis size.

Also, we know from being on SI long enough, that most of the cheaters are doing it for attention, sense of entitlement, etc than for how the AP looks. It's also true that many of these AP's are the ones willing to put aside their morals and integrity to have an A with a married person.

Don't compare yourself with someone who is lower in integrity, morals, caring and compassion: the qualities that most loyal, good women want. You are better.

WhoTheBleep posted 1/26/2019 22:15 PM

Wow, that dispels that myth.
I guess when they wanna cheat, nothing matters.

Yeah, and all my WH's AP's (well, the ones I know about) were heavier, older than me, and way more plain looking. And yet he tossed his family in the trash for them. Yup. Looks, size, whatever...does. not. matter.

Want2BHappyAgain posted 1/27/2019 19:15 PM

I agree with EVERY WOMAN WHO HAS POSTED on here...size does NOT matter . Well...except for the bigger they are...the more they HURT apparently. My H's adultery co-conspirator told my H that she had a fantasy to have a huge dick inside her. She met a man online who showed her his huge dick...and she told him she wanted him to help her fulfill her fantasy. The guy said YES. However...according to the ACC...when the guy started to fuck her...it was so painful she made him stop. This is a woman who is a serial cheater...and has had several dicks inside her...but her fantasy of having a huge dick to fuck her turned out to be a nightmare!!! It was so BAD...that she told my H she would keep her fantasies as that...because her reality was far WORSE...and it ruined her fantasy of a huge cock!!!

Cephastion...I can't speak for all women...but for ME...I agree with your wife in that when I am mentally and physically into it...everything feels soooooo much better!!! This goes into your post also LilBlackCat. The biggest sex organ we ALL have is our brain . I think all of us Betrayeds understand this because we felt a LOT different about sex with our Waywards before we found out they were cheating on us. If a couple works to make EACH OTHER excited...it truly is a GIFT that will give them even more satisfaction !!!

LilBlackCat posted 1/28/2019 03:38 AM

I think in WW and AP's case, I don't think discomfort is at the top of the list.. I found out over the weekend, that he's been doing random visits to WW's new place and spending the night.

Whatever tho, she's just a mess..

LilBlackCat posted 1/30/2019 12:20 PM

I just spoke to my DD and found that AP has been staying there now, and is "visiting" for about a week or more.. He's going to be "helping around the house".. Was WW's explanation to DD.

DD says that WW has been happy that AP is there with her.. Which still amazes me that she will get back with him and support him (he's unemployed, and has not held a real job in years) but she never gave our family/marriage a second thought.

I mean.. I do not care to have her come back, but this brings back the thought of what I saw as the draw that he has on her, that I could never match.

I think it's safe to say, she likely dumped her new guy, if AP is back in the picture again.

Craziness..

CurseBreaker posted 1/31/2019 07:38 AM

LBC, hugs. I know how those triggers can be. Iíve seen the pics from STBXHs double life, and how emotionally taxing it can be when you see something that youíre not (my case a pretty blonde cougar with no hint of a mom bod). Youíre a much better person than AP anyhow, youíre the faithful one and thatís 100x better than having a big, ahem, unit.

Size doesnít matter, really. Ever heard the saying ďitís the motion of the ocean?Ē Well, itís a thing b/c itís true. Take my word on that.

cancuncrushed posted 1/31/2019 11:25 AM

THIS COULD just be me...but you are so wrong...size is not that big a deal...Big can be awful....seriously...

as for the pictures...I would have been insulted that she kept those, with children belongings...it could have been them to find these...if it was over with AP, she needs to clean house...

I would have mentioned it...you were giving of your time and effort..and you were insulted by it...it was careless...and inconsiderate again...

its ok to speak up...even in an accident...owning them , letting others handle them, is careless...

you can voice your thoughts...as for the size....
you really are so so so wrong...this isn't how I think at all...and I know many other friends I have discussed this...

Don't compare....because AP cant compare in any way to you....he wasn't even helping move her...cheating is never about the penis.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 11:28 AM, January 31st (Thursday)]

CatsEye posted 2/1/2019 00:50 AM

Cephastion wrote:

Obviously none of y'all can speak for my wife, but as it concerns my understanding of the feminine end of this experience, I have only my own wife and what I've read from others and deduced on my own to make these general assertions, and I don't really want to just be making up crap as I go along, even if it's honestly very well intended (possible) "crap" to help out my fellow suffering betrayed menz here on SI or elsewhere.

I simply don't know how universally true and typical my experience with my wife is compared to the world in general...

As a woman, I will say that the idea of a large organ might be stimulating. The sight of a large organ might be stimulating. Once you reach the age of menopause and your vagina dries up and your vaginal walls get thin and sensitive, thinner might be better. Long enough to hit the cervix sounds excruciating at any age.

If a woman is young and still suffering from a tender, sensitive vagina, either she has a health problem that needs to be addressed ASAP, or you're being too rough. Those things stretch. They stretch enough to let a baby out. Which hurts horribly, but a vagina is made to stretch.

The best way to stretch it out is to make sure that she is thoroughly aroused and lubricated. If that isn't enough, then it might be time to talk to the doctor.

But most of the stimulation that a woman gets is external or within the first two or three inches. Beyond that, it's just the idea of the size that might make a difference.

And I have never had a discussion of organ size with any female friend or relative, only my exhole. We women talk about where he takes us. Whether he is attentive. Whether he put any effort into making the evening special. Whether he tried to dress nicely or looked slovenly. Whether he helped us out of the car when we were wearing high heels. Whether he introduces us to his friends and family. Whether he remembers our birthday and what we like.

Any woman who chooses a man because he has a large organ deserves what she's likely to get.

Cephastion posted 2/4/2019 15:28 PM

Any woman who chooses a man because he has a large organ deserves what she's likely to get.

Well, I guess you have a point there, CatsEye! But surely there are some exceptions, non?

Walkingthewire posted 2/4/2019 15:51 PM

BS here.
when I was younger. And I can say that the only thing I can think when guys have an abnormally large member is OUCH! Worst sex ever having you cervix smashed repeatedly by a penis. Think of it like being kicked in the balls over and over.
I even fell asleep on him once. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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